(2014) ivf mummies support group

Actually I told my CL many times that she doesn't need to carry my girl the moment she cries but she ignores us. The first CL will let me do hands on but this replacement CL will always want to carry my girl. I ask to bottle feed my girl when she's bottle feeding my girl. She reluctantly passes my girl to me. I don't know what's wrong with her. Why is she so reluctant? I want to bathe my girl but due to confinement period, I can't. Till date, I haven't bathed my girl before. I feel that bath time is also a bonding time.
 


At least u girls problem will gone once cl leave. Mine will continue. Mil and helper will be forever helping me till at least my maternity end. Another 3months down my girls sure very attached to them :( I feel so sad and I feel like giving up pumping so I can take care and spend more time with them. Now I carry them I also need position in such a way it don't affect my nipples cause keep pumping there very sore sometimes carry baby I don't want them touch that area cause I very sensitive.

Snow when u do skin to skin with baby? When they awake u carry and stripe them naked to skin to skin with u or when they sleeping u carry them skin to skin?
 
Faithfullyours I bathe my girls during confinement! I can say I didn do a proper one. Keep touching water. I hope next time don't give me a big impact. Chill just count down to the day yr cl leaving u. At least a day pass means a day without her is coming soon ;)
 
Ladies, don't fret. Take care of yourselves during confinement and 'pu' yourselves and be well-rested. If it means you r stronger after confinement, it means you will be in better health to look after your bb. Don't fret about the first month, mummies! The journey is long and your children will always be yours. Don't fret the initial months!
 
Don't do skin to skin naked then. Let your little one rest on your chest while you rest on the bed at an angle. My boy loves sleeping on my chest. CL says bb wants to be with mum n hearing her heartbeat.
 
Where possible, don't bath bb too. Do it after confinement. I was not disciplined during first confinement, and I HAD ACHES AND PAINS in my hand and fingers. Second round I was very kwai and didn't encounter similar aches and pains. I am thankful that I chose to be kwai during 2nd cfmt to recover from deficits in first cfmt. Long term, I feel I can better enjoy my kids without suffering aches and pains.
 
At least u girls problem will gone once cl leave. Mine will continue. Mil and helper will be forever helping me till at least my maternity end. Another 3months down my girls sure very attached to them :( I feel so sad and I feel like giving up pumping so I can take care and spend more time with them. Now I carry them I also need position in such a way it don't affect my nipples cause keep pumping there very sore sometimes carry baby I don't want them touch that area cause I very sensitive.

Snow when u do skin to skin with baby? When they awake u carry and stripe them naked to skin to skin with u or when they sleeping u carry them skin to skin?


I Didn do any skin to skin contact with my boy lol initially my hub was telling mi to carry my boy n let him listen to my heartbeat but I find very weird to use my left hand to carry him coz I prefer my right due to I'm left hander. After that when my boy slp he just slp on my chest like koala bear position
 
Thanks Serenakoh! feels so good to hear from experienced mom. I also don't have much bonding with my girl. can't latch her cos she can only be bottle - fed. she is very attached to my mom who feeds her every 2 hrs, bathes her, massages her, puts her to sleep etc. I heard they may recognise voice so talk to them more.

anyway I believe that they will sense that we are around and that we love them just as much.
 
I went through the same thing as all mummies! Jealousy (that bb seems to want other pple more), guilt (that I wasn't with bb more), tiredness, low milk supply, etcetc. My second pregnancy when #1 was only 1.5 yrs old. So #1 ended up very close to the helper. I was worried coz helper left after 2 yrs. but my kid amazed me. We brought him to the airport to send off the maid. And he has NEVER asked for the maid since. So, don't underestimate your babies / kids. They may be close to caregivers but they know who mummy is!!
 
so nice to hear from you serenakoh. I even to that stage thinking I no latch bb also seldom feed her using bottle will they recognise me as their mummies? cause now majority of the time I am not the one carrying them.

ete and snow I tried to put bb on my chest at an angle while I rest on bed. elder twin ok, smaller twin don't like that position :(

by the way I read from somewhere if bb are colicky they tend to cry and push their head back way past their neck isit? my younger twin yesterday night when cry do this, I don't know just her position or she showing signs of gasy stomach.my girls are night creatures, night don't want to sleep keep crying and I had a hard time to make them sleep. isit also true once their daily milk intake reach then night they can sleep thru the night without waking for milk? if so I thinking to increase more ml per feed during the day.

bud I am preparing 120ml for my girls this week. yours more than me?
 
I find bottle feed at night is fuller for bb and he sleeps longer. If latch he asks for more feeds.
 
ok so depressed again. just now I was feeding elder girl then she stop drinking halfway and refused to drink so I carry her and she just cannot settle down keep crying and crying and no matter how hard I try and change position just doesn't seems to be right. I used 1 hr to carry trying to calm her down but she didn calm down. try to feed half way again and she simply refused. then mil came and carry her she stop crying...then she feed her the remaining milk and she drink...I am super sad. don't know why like that. I give myself excuse like I am on tummy wrap so movements a bit restricted thus carrying style may seem awkward or my boobs are painful and sore and in order not to let the girls touch my nipples again I got to carry them in a position they may not like. I don't know how long can I tell myself all this, feel so useless as a mummy and super sad. really both my girls cannot be coaxed by me. I always feel that when your own bb is crying and u as the mother will have the power to carry and calm her down which I cannot. the more I carry them the worst they cry!
 
I think I am really very sad...felt like a failure! mil and her helper come and help me yet I feel jealous of them. they spend time with my babies more than myself as I need to pump and out of 10x pumping, my girls feeding time 7-8x will fall during my session and so I cannot be around to feed. then when I am finally free they are sleeping. wake to eat I am pumping. just so happen I so diff to have a chance. even if I have a chance they find me more of a stranger. hate my mil keep talking to my babies, she is so super patient she can talk to them almost 24/7 when she is here which makes me feel even worst. now babies probably recognise her smell and her voice. me leh??? don't know really feel so useless and ashamed. now I think, during my maternity leave mil and helper will be here to help so I guess they will continue to grow close with them, after maternity when I go back work I will send them ifc then the teachers there will bond with them I also can only bond after work (which my energy level might not be that high also).
cant help but cry.....
 
I m OK w in laws coming over daily like every morning but they literally stays for hours then go home rest 2-3 hrs n back again.. I feel my space invaded badly. I already no time alone w dh n yet share my bb w them day n night. This morning she puke milk out, machiam my fault, all crowd ard her but I m out of it. In laws even follow cl all the way to bathroom see her shower. I damn pissed n hide myself in bedroom since I m like unwanted there.. I end up clear emails n work abit on laptop.
 
ok so depressed again. just now I was feeding elder girl then she stop drinking halfway and refused to drink so I carry her and she just cannot settle down keep crying and crying and no matter how hard I try and change position just doesn't seems to be right. I used 1 hr to carry trying to calm her down but she didn calm down. try to feed half way again and she simply refused. then mil came and carry her she stop crying...then she feed her the remaining milk and she drink...I am super sad. don't know why like that. I give myself excuse like I am on tummy wrap so movements a bit restricted thus carrying style may seem awkward or my boobs are painful and sore and in order not to let the girls touch my nipples again I got to carry them in a position they may not like. I don't know how long can I tell myself all this, feel so useless as a mummy and super sad. really both my girls cannot be coaxed by me. I always feel that when your own bb is crying and u as the mother will have the power to carry and calm her down which I cannot. the more I carry them the worst they cry!
I feel you!!! Last night I felt like a total failure too. This morning after pumping, I insisted to latch my girl based on demand all the way till lunch time. Many times, CL wanted to carry her away but I insisted I'll latch her. Even bottle feed, I also insisted that I feed her. I played with her because her eyes were wide open and I told her I'm her mummy and not auntie and when I carry her, she cannot cry.
 
Iwantahealthybaby and faithfullyyours

First child/ pregnancy? Don't be so hard on yourselves! Take care of your physical and mental health. Your well-being is important for the well-being of your child(ren). Take heart, do not be upset about babies' crying. Take it slowly (eg carry your child when she's in a good mood), and build up your positive moments. Focus on positive moments, positive energy. Also, be confident. Babies go by senses and they can sense when u r stressed or stiff which may affect how comfortable they feel. Take it easy ok. We women already have a tough job, don't make it tougher on yourselves!
 
I think I am really very sad...felt like a failure! mil and her helper come and help me yet I feel jealous of them. they spend time with my babies more than myself as I need to pump and out of 10x pumping, my girls feeding time 7-8x will fall during my session and so I cannot be around to feed. then when I am finally free they are sleeping. wake to eat I am pumping. just so happen I so diff to have a chance. even if I have a chance they find me more of a stranger. hate my mil keep talking to my babies, she is so super patient she can talk to them almost 24/7 when she is here which makes me feel even worst. now babies probably recognise her smell and her voice. me leh??? don't know really feel so useless and ashamed. now I think, during my maternity leave mil and helper will be here to help so I guess they will continue to grow close with them, after maternity when I go back work I will send them ifc then the teachers there will bond with them I also can only bond after work (which my energy level might not be that high also).
cant help but cry.....


Talk to ur bb more calm urself down if not bb sense can if u are angry they will cry even more I notice when I scold my boy he actually knows n cry even loud maybe ur twin is uncomfy if u can latch ur twin will be better coz latching is a way of bonding also
 
Buddy and faithfullyyours don't feel depressed. I have no cl or helper or mil with me. Initially my baby also like this, however it is more to the way we carry making them comfortable. Slowly and get the comfortable position for them. It is not a one day thing and you just need to slowly feel their comfortable position. Why cl and mil carry ok is because they are more experience and know the comfortable way the baby like. so don't get depressed. Slowly find their comfortable position.
 
At least ur cl leaves after ur confinement.. my in laws is at my hse day n night until I quite pissed. Feel like been monitor thruout the day. I feel I have not much bonding w my bb as they are constantly ard her, sitting besides her cot looking at her sleeping n etc. I really can't take it that I request my dh tell them my gf is visiting me today afternoon, can u ask ur parents dun come. Makes my frd dare not go near my bb cos she feels the eagle eyes on her black when she near my bb.
My own hse yet I cannot latch or pump freely at any place in the hse cos they are always ard. Dun make me pissed n bring bb into my room whenever they are here, it's will b quite nasty by then.
Dolly, actually now that I am staying at a rented place now (this place was found 3 days before I delivered my girl due to unpleasant issues that happened with my in-laws. I'm supposed to stay with my in-laws after baby is born until my new house is ready.), I feel that it is a blessing in disguise, though I need to spend additional money to pay for rental. I can basically do everything freely: breastfeed in the hall & bedroom, do massage in the hall, pump in the hall. Imagine if I am still staying with my in-laws. I can only do everything in the room and for Christ's sake, we shifted out all because my MIL and SIL don't respect what privacy is! Especially my MIL. She practically walks in and out of the room and does her own stuff in the room and when DH wanted to suggest to her alternatives, she blew her top at him. She didn't even think for me at that time that I am going to give birth any time. After we shifted out, she also never tried asking us to go back. Instead, it was my FIL who tried to ask us to go back and stay. My parents are super angry with my MIL. DH is also very angry with his mum. Till date, my PIL have not visited my girl. They also have not asked about my well being. For this, my parents are even more angry with them.
 
yes serenakoh my first pregnancy. its even more depressed cause its not one bb who react this way to me but both girls (twins) :(

bud I just feel I will never get the position right. I will still continue trying thou.

faithfullyours your mil abit extreme I hate those parents be it husband side or our own side cannot think for the newborn and "ren" abit. anyway its good you don't have to see her face now especially with baby around. bb shower u still need to invite them out of courteous and respect then they chose to come or no let them chose if they don't show face is their fault. check with u, when mdm emma wrap binder around u, u don't feel umcomfy? as in when carry baby like something hindering? sit also difficult.

I don't latch my girls anymore snow. give up latching. its easier pumping and feeding them straight. younger twin totally cannot latch and elder one latch awile gets frustrated. now I only hope I can bond when I carry them. i do talk to the babies too when carry maybe not as much as they hear my mil voice as she spend practically more time with them. just now i try to feed one of the girls again all was good till she came in and talk then bb show some disturbance. like can recognise her voice like that. so sian. i actually even thinking whether will bb know who their mummy is.
 
yes serenakoh my first pregnancy. its even more depressed cause its not one bb who react this way to me but both girls (twins) :(

bud I just feel I will never get the position right. I will still continue trying thou.

faithfullyours your mil abit extreme I hate those parents be it husband side or our own side cannot think for the newborn and "ren" abit. anyway its good you don't have to see her face now especially with baby around. bb shower u still need to invite them out of courteous and respect then they chose to come or no let them chose if they don't show face is their fault. check with u, when mdm emma wrap binder around u, u don't feel umcomfy? as in when carry baby like something hindering? sit also difficult.

I don't latch my girls anymore snow. give up latching. its easier pumping and feeding them straight. younger twin totally cannot latch and elder one latch awile gets frustrated. now I only hope I can bond when I carry them. i do talk to the babies too when carry maybe not as much as they hear my mil voice as she spend practically more time with them. just now i try to feed one of the girls again all was good till she came in and talk then bb show some disturbance. like can recognise her voice like that. so sian. i actually even thinking whether will bb know who their mummy is.


Haha they will know de, there's once my boy cry I can't pacify him once the cl took over the bb stop crying. The cl told me to talk to the bb more often n the cl auto stop carry my boy n even talk to my boy less coz my boy start to recognise voice Liao. But my boy can recognise my hub voice n even want my hub to feed him instead of the cl haha... I was at the later stage towards the end of confinement then I hand on
 
at least your cl know to auto shut her mouth...my mil will only continue to talk like no tomorrow...so i am like fighting with her a debate for my babies to hear....
 
My cl aso commented tat I dun carry bb much, I openly said cos everyone fight to carry her, I no where to stand at all..
They not to the extend in n out my room freely lah, if she does tat cfm I wld have burst long ago..

Feeling feverish now, can tale tramadol mah? I can't take panadol or aspirin
 
yes serenakoh my first pregnancy. its even more depressed cause its not one bb who react this way to me but both girls (twins) :(

bud I just feel I will never get the position right. I will still continue trying thou.

faithfullyours your mil abit extreme I hate those parents be it husband side or our own side cannot think for the newborn and "ren" abit. anyway its good you don't have to see her face now especially with baby around. bb shower u still need to invite them out of courteous and respect then they chose to come or no let them chose if they don't show face is their fault. check with u, when mdm emma wrap binder around u, u don't feel umcomfy? as in when carry baby like something hindering? sit also difficult.

I don't latch my girls anymore snow. give up latching. its easier pumping and feeding them straight. younger twin totally cannot latch and elder one latch awile gets frustrated. now I only hope I can bond when I carry them. i do talk to the babies too when carry maybe not as much as they hear my mil voice as she spend practically more time with them. just now i try to feed one of the girls again all was good till she came in and talk then bb show some disturbance. like can recognise her voice like that. so sian. i actually even thinking whether will bb know who their mummy is.
My MIL even shouted at DH that she had compromised a lot already and yelled that why DH everything also listen to me. I think she's damn immature and unreasonable. So I told DH that we couldn't stay with them anymore. Must find a place to move. My parents even told me that since we are paying the rental of this current place, don't ever allow my PIL to stay over if they ever request.
 
My cl aso commented tat I dun carry bb much, I openly said cos everyone fight to carry her, I no where to stand at all..
They not to the extend in n out my room freely lah, if she does tat cfm I wld have burst long ago..

Feeling feverish now, can tale tramadol mah? I can't take panadol or aspirin


U can take paracetamol
 
My MIL even shouted at DH that she had compromised a lot already and yelled that why DH everything also listen to me. I think she's damn immature and unreasonable. So I told DH that we couldn't stay with them anymore. Must find a place to move. My parents even told me that since we are paying the rental of this current place, don't ever allow my PIL to stay over if they ever request.
Poor you. I can so sympathize. Since my trips came, my pil came to stay with me for a period. Wahlau, everything that was done to their satisfaction was to their son's credit. Anything that was not to their satisfaction, was cause I influenced or decided one. The the CL add salt and vinegar summore. Pfft.
 
Moo moo time. Ladies, jia you, we can do it. Get your dh to shield you from Mil and whatever. Get him to help. There is a talk this Saturday (saw in super mom bazaar)
 
Should be ok bbhc think bb too full that's why vomit. My girls also merlion yesterday night when finish her bottle. I just continue to pat her to sleep while I clear the mess. I believe she will wake me up again if she hungry.
 
Moo moo time. Ladies, jia you, we can do it. Get your dh to shield you from Mil and whatever. Get him to help. There is a talk this Saturday (saw in super mom bazaar)


About Breast feeding talk is it if yes than Is on Sunday n I've register to attend haha for more knowledge so my next bb can be tbf lol
 
Mschar, I m allergy to panadol but I took tramadol last night n slp thru. Only feel the side effect of nausea m giddy this morning ard 7 So I went bk slp ard 9+, feeling much better
 
dolly can eat tramadol. I was also given that after csec and doc say its ok even if bf.

just now my mil just "snatch" my bb away from me. I was trying to calm her down and she was doing great then mil come over and say things like drink finish milk don't want sleep ar...then like that natural from my arms just carry her and say I try to make her sleep. so naturally lor I was like dude...........then I go down buy lunch for them and myself. got helper around but I am the one going down to buy cause helper don't know go where buy food...again I was like dude.....piss!

ladies check with u all, for those colic drops like rid wind or others suitable for bb do u let bb drink straight using teaspoon or mix the mixture into the milk bottle during feed? I am afraid it will make the bm taste weird then later they may not want to drink bm anymore. how about gripe water? I saw from instructions is drink direct. but ridwind and gripe water serve the same purpose right?
 
Iwahb, i used to use a woodwards ( if i spell correctly) gripe water. I mix a
little with a bottle of water.
 
Yes mschar I got that too the super old skool brand. The instructions state direct feed thou. I scare Mix with milk if they don't like next time don't want drink milk yet mix with water scare too much water intake for them lol. Can eat daily basis? As preventive?
 
Poor you. I can so sympathize. Since my trips came, my pil came to stay with me for a period. Wahlau, everything that was done to their satisfaction was to their son's credit. Anything that was not to their satisfaction, was cause I influenced or decided one. The the CL add salt and vinegar summore. Pfft.
Serena, you have triplets? So nice!!! :)

Yeah I actually don't like my MIL already when I was dating DH. Everything also blames me without clarifying things. Still remember our ROM and SIL's wedding date fall on e same day and she blamed me why I didn't consult them first. But then it was because DH forgot to inform them first such that my SIL also chose the same date. Wah piangz!
 
dolly can eat tramadol. I was also given that after csec and doc say its ok even if bf.

just now my mil just "snatch" my bb away from me. I was trying to calm her down and she was doing great then mil come over and say things like drink finish milk don't want sleep ar...then like that natural from my arms just carry her and say I try to make her sleep. so naturally lor I was like dude...........then I go down buy lunch for them and myself. got helper around but I am the one going down to buy cause helper don't know go where buy food...again I was like dude.....piss!

ladies check with u all, for those colic drops like rid wind or others suitable for bb do u let bb drink straight using teaspoon or mix the mixture into the milk bottle during feed? I am afraid it will make the bm taste weird then later they may not want to drink bm anymore. how about gripe water? I saw from instructions is drink direct. but ridwind and gripe water serve the same purpose right?


I add into my FM n give my boy drink but there's one time his colic quite bad so we drip into his mouth then faster give him milk I'm using rid wind drop not the gripe water

All I can say is ur mil quite extra haha if ur bb drink until want to slp liao by right shld just keep quiet ma spoil Market haha
 
Buddy you can use those injection tube to feed baby with the gripe water.
Cool cool. I think your mil just don't do it purposely. Naturally they just want to carry after feeding to see if they are ok. She loves your babies. I think maybe slowly just tell her is ok I can carry say in a nice way.
 
yes bud u are right she don't mean it. I know she love the babies and maybe thought by taking over I can rest but mmmm I am bonding with her mah.

I actually got a injection tube from tommee tippee then I go sterilise end up the plastic tube melt lol. didn know cannot sterilise using the machine. so I just spoon feed cause I very scare add into my milk wait in future they don't want drink.
 
Don't add to milk. Just use the injection tube as a feeding tools.
I use that for feeding my baby like a few drops of water in case the fm very thick stuck at the mouth.
So can use that to feed the gripe water.
Buddy think now we emotion very sensitive. As our mind everything is babies. So slowly you will get the way to carry your babies the way they like. Just slowly. No worries just share with us here. You will feel better. Sometimes we are by ourselves and we might emotional goes wild haha. initially I was stressed like mad too. Now I take do my best only to take care of baby and ensure she can sleep, eat and pass out well then ok. I sayang my baby head and talks to her everyday she let her understand. Haha don't know if she understands but I just talk and talk. Remember slowly..
 

This morning quarrel with dh again. Seriously don't like him. Face super idiotic when Twinnies aren't cooperative. Today we quarrel and my family all hear so sucks lor. He say he don't like elder twin attitude I hear i angry cause to me babies they don't know anything and U say till like they purposely like that. I just say him back say u don't like take care U can don't take care. Seriously having twins don't know is blessing or what at least I know if one baby only I don't need depend on him to take care. I can handle myself.
 

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