Whenever I feel sad, I always come to this forum and write down loads of stuffs to get the frustration out from my mind. Right now, I just wan file a divorce, get out of this damn hell house, and have an affair with someone. I know I am not in the right frame of mind, but jus hope to find that particular someone who can share my thoughts, and give me the kind of love I really want. I find that I really cant understand my husband anymore, he is more like a stranger to me, someone I long to go near to but also afraid of at the same time. I find it pathetic as couples are not supposed to behave like that. When a marriage comes to that, is it time to call it quits? Easy to put a ring on the finger, declare the vow to each other, put the signature on that piece of paper but hard to maintain the relationship. And also easy to say bye bye sayonara and break the vow. When it comes to quarrel, can call each other names, and hurls vulgarities at each other. He called me brainless, what kind of mother am I and called my parents to complain and asked them to take me home. I feel like a stray dog on street, useless and forsaken. Tell me, which mother in the world would do anything to harm their child, maybe is only out of stress or carelessness or their part right? How could he as my husband call me that? Taking care of a child is not easy, let alone caring for a child who is feeling sick and acting crankily. I am also thinking on how to be more financially independant instead of waiting for a paycheck with a meagre sum every month. My mum told me to be strong, put my child in a care centre, and go out to work. Only then can I change my life and not be looked down upon by him. He's looking down on me, I can gradually feel it...........no longer treats me the same as before, our sex life is affected, seldom hugs and kisses me........I know he is tired from work......but is work the only reason we have to stop someone from becoming as loving as before? We are drifting futher apart........he told me before he wanted to marry me to give me a name and family.........I was very touched and grateful to him.......but now I rather we co habit ......if we get along, then fine. If cant, just say bye and go different ways. Better still, should'nt have met each other and worst still, bring suffering to the child. There are so many things I have sacrificed to choose to become a SAHM, a choice I have started to regret..........a marriage I have grown tired of, and having a man I have gradually lost hope of.........