New marriage, young mom

Sarah Ong

New Member
I'm curious to know what advise young mothers can share with me about staying at home full time. To stay at home or to not stay at home?
 


Full time mom is more hard work, 24/7 without any break. But it gives you time to bond with child and loads of satisfaction. Working moms struggle with balancing time with work and baby.

I am a working mother and sometimes I rush home from work but hardly get to see baby cos she'll be sleeping by then.

Pros and cons. So it depends on you and your personality.
 
How young do u mean young?

I have 2 kid 4 and 3 year old, when young one was 18 month sent him to child care and work for a short period of 8 month. I feel that when I am working there no time to spend with kid during weekday. After work have to rush to cc to fetch them, then feed dinner(outside food which is load of msg and seasoning make me feel guilty), bath then it time to sleep, no time to play with them at all. And during their time in cc they alway fall sick.

After 8 month I decided to be sahm again, cos both keep fall sick and been taking turn to stay at hospital. Both been much healthy and best is I can see all their growing up. But bad thing is I have to face them 24/7 there no way I can get away from the 2 of them. It also very stress on financial to depend on single income, have ti cut down on alot of spending
 
I have been a SAHM for several years after my second child. It's great to be available for your children during their formative years, not only to give them academic help but also support them emotionally. It's a hardbreaking, at times lonely unpaid job but the returns u get r happy n well-adjusted children n love from them.

I think, if possible, a part-time job can provide a good balance n remove the monotony of a SAHM's life. Recently I got a part-time job n I feel everything turns out very well for me.
 
Hi there. I am a young mom. Still schooling. I would say being a Sahm full time mom, it requires lots of sacrifices and hard work. From the birth of ur baby till He/she becoming a teen. From preparation of milk to solids. It's not easy. One thing is it greats a special bond between you and ur kid. However, ur kid may also become super sticky glue to you. There's good and bad. I won't say it's full good or bad Because as for myself. I was a SAHM for about 5months till I return back to school. initially I wanted to takecare of my boy full by myself till He is abt 10-11months old. However school requested me to go back, therefore I send my boy to ifc. Although I am still half hearted in school Because I misses my dear baby so much. So I spend my weekends or most of my free time to accompany him and watch his growth. It depends on individual.
 
For me, the stress is dealing with my husband. He never fail to remind me that he is working to support whole family and its expenses e.g house loan, car, school fees, maid etc. True that he earns more then me, and is paying for most things, he take it for granted that he can behave like a king. When I complain that he took the car for his control car hobby for too long on weekends, he say he paid for the car, if I not happy go buy my own. It's very hurtful words he say. The stress of being a SAHM is not even as bad as dealing with my husband. Everything we fight about, he will ultimately win cos he will threaten to cut it off, always. I admit that my husband made sacrifices but it saddens me that he never once acknowledge my sacrifices as a SAHM, and I guess all mums here know the painful decision to stay with kids all the time.
 
I am not a young mum but my kids are young. I am ftwm. Before i had kids, i used to think i don't want superglue sticky children. After my first child is born, my thinking totally change, thanks to my hb n mil. Directly or indirectly they did not want me to be near my baby as long as my unmarried sister-in-law is around. They also tried to create more opportunity for her to build the mother-son bond with my baby. Even though i don't want sticky children, i would rather they be sticky to me than sticky to another woman.

There were people who told me that baby would by nature knows who the mother is. Yes, i agree but not when somebody delibrately want to confuse or brainwash the baby.

My hb is not supportive of me to be Sahm. I also don't want to be one as i want to be financially independent plus i am very sure even if i am a sahm, hb would still insist to send the children to cc from 7 to 7. So what is the point for me to be sahm, might as well work.
 
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Hi Sarah, to an extend that if there is a need to be a sahm, you will have to sacrifices your own time and even your job to look after your kid. For my case, I was being asked to leave my secretarial job when preggy with twin - 2nd pregnancy (that time was 3 months pregnancy) 4 years back, and have to take up part time job or even vitagen home delivery when the twin were young. Yes, hub plays an important part in supporting this and am glad that I have one. He not only brings in the income for family expenses, but also help me in the household chores whenever he is free.

All mothers out there, getting married and having kids is a part and parcel of your life, do think positively (I know is difficult) but try your very best and your children will know that there is always a mother there to love them.....
 

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