Young single mum

Hi confused,
please be strong for urself and ur gal. If there is anything you needed help or advice with, do not hesitate to post here and ask.

please do take care.
 


Hi all,

Baby is abt 13 days old right now and I have a confinement lady w me helping to take care. But how do you communicate with ur confinement lady. I not very happy. She take care of my baby well and my food but there are lots of other things she did that is causing me to be very unhappy.

Like as my baby is having high jaundice she come say those myths like because I never stop eating yellow color food that why my baby jaundice so high. Then the baby hand come say those myths that got me so upset. Worst she actually share my baby condition to her other colleague working w other company. And she take my daughter away from me All the time. Today I saw by daughter sleeping right behind her back which got me a shock cos she surpose to sleep on the extra mattress beside her on the bed vertically not horizontally .

Right now I dun even feel that my daughter is close to me at all. The moment I handle her she start crying. Any ideal what should I do. I dunno how to point it out to her. But my daughter sleep beside her everyday which I not happy about. I wan her to sleep beside me and to me is her job to come in to settle the baby then go out to sleep.

I been hearing her coughing but is like those dry cough I dunno how to speak to her at all..

I don't why do I feel like I'm in controlled by her.

How should I speak to her. Or should I tell her agency to tell her. I'm just scared that after that it make the matter all worst especially there is still 2 weeks plus to go .
 
hi confused,

I think you should tell her nicely. What you prefer and what you don't. If you feel like want to be with your girl, just go ahead. I feel you, my confinement handle by my mom who ask me to rest more while she can help me to take care my boy at night, but I insist to sleep with my baby in the same room with air-con and fan on. I know she is not happy with it, but i told her that I able to take care my son by myself.

Besides, you will be bit more emotional during confinement because of hormone changes, i cried few times during the 1st 6 weeks. After that, everything will be fine. =)

Take care.
 
Hi confused,

I got a play gym for u. Please pm me.

I'm staying in bukit panjang too, able to deliver to your house.
 
Confused, I would send her away if I am you.. I don't need to spend $$ to hire someone who add stress n trouble to my life..

Food can order those confinement tingkat.. U living with family members?
 
confusd, juz tell her tat u want to learn to handle bb, so tat when she is gone in 2 wks time u can handle....juz ask her to 'teach'

;-)
 
hi confused,
depends on how you look at it..
some mummies are very hands-on, they want the baby to be near her and in even if confinement auntie left, she can handle the baby well and baby will not fuss.
some mummies (like myself) will just let confinement lady to handle most of the things (cos this is the only time I can "relax" and recuperate), once the confinement auntie left, I will need about 1-2 weeks to learn how to handle my baby well. After that 1-2 weeks, baby will know that he/she can only rely on their mummy from there onwards.
So up to you to decide. I feel that you do not have to send her away as you still need her to cook and help you take care of baby when you need to rest. If you really want to bond with baby, just tell her you will look after baby at night and will only bring baby to her if you feel that you want to (eg. baby fussed too much and you could not sleep well etc).
 
hey mommies.

any ideal where ca i order eggs other than market?

Need about 200 of it.

Also do anyone know the first month celebration procedue for baby.
 
hi confused, my Confinement lady, who is very gd, is back in spore, if you want another confinement lady instead, PM me, i'll put you in touch with her. Dont let this confinement lady dictate what you can and cannot do, its your baby, and she will only be an infant once in her life, so you should spend quality time with her, and enjoy her growing up every day.

as for 1st month celebration, ppl usually cater food for a grp of ppl, find a venue, like function room from a condo, or just in your house, or the corridor area if you have space, then invite ppl via email or sms to come for the 1st month celebration. some red eggs will be gd to have, if ppl want to take them, and also you can print some photos of you baby for decoration etc.

PM if you want more info.
 
btw, i have some brand new items, like baby wash, soap, shampoo, lotions etc, if you want any, let me know, where you are located.
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新加坡《联合晚报》 3 June 2013, Monday
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《MyPaper》 3 June 2013, Monday
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I hope she is not a member from this forum.
 
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It's not easy to be a parent especially if you are a single mother. You have to spend most of your time on work to support your kids needs and other expenses. One of the largest expenses that a father or mother has to face is for child care. Child care costs are rampantly growing and in some areas, eclipse costs like rent or a house payment. Learn more: Child care costs.
 
Hi all mothers, would like to warn you that the confinement lady recommended be ferfer8 who is auntie Yulian is not a good confinement lady.
i delivered on 15 Jan 2014 and engaged this auntie Yulian based on ferfer8 recommendation and agreed to pay her cny rate of $3.3k but she is a real nite mare.
First day she only arrives at 10pm claiming that she can't get bus tickets early those I have told her in advance my C-section date. The first nite, when bb cried she will claim that he is hungry without even checking for soil diaper or bb does not feel secured. I had to feed bb for the whole nite. The Next day, she kept saying I have not enough milk. But after I told her to swaddle bb like in the hospital, bb managed to sleep quite well. However as bb has jaundice I am also afraid that he slept for too long so I said to wake bb up every 3 hour for feed, she said oh, if bb can sleep let him sleep. In the end, I wake up the bb myself and she continue to sleep in the nite. She does not bother when bb cries. When she bath bb, bb will cry from beginning to the end. I almost had depression with her.
She did not cook well. Only some simple homeroom food. Did not even put ginger at all. Her fish soup is sour and pork rib soup is full of water. The red date water is also not boiled long enough. She waste so much ingredient in the red date water and added sugar to it.
I sent her home after 6 days and she still have the face to demand the cny rate. I paid her as I am afraid she will do something funny to the bb or myself. I regretted not taking a picture of her to warn the mothers here. There are m'sian who are trying to con Singaporean mothers. Please beware.
Mothers, please do not just read the comments on the websites for recommendation. Do visit the mother who is being care for by the confinement lady during the confinement period.
 
Hi all is been a long time that I ever came to this forum. As u may have know that I delivered to a girl that has missing a left hand.

Today she is 16 months. Things been really tough but to see my baby girl smiling at me it good.

As u may have read previously that her father did not want her and he wanted to walk out of us. Right now my baby girl does not follow his surname at all. And we are not married. But occasionally he come to see her and play w her. Financially he is very tight and not able to help out with our finances.

I manage to buy a HDB flat with my mom and she is currently staying with me but because of the house she had to go around to borrow money. Now she is helping to pay the loan. Right now my current place have not renovated finish because I had problem paying the renovation but I at the ending line. Completing soon.

For the past year my daughter been through 3 operation and countless time of hospital stay. And often each time when we go hospital I will feel very very depress.

After I had my girl I was very depressed for my first month. I could not breast feed her well and I cried every day and night. As time goes I became ever worst when ever I fight with her father I would be very sucidal . The honest truth is I had took my girl out to the sea and up the block wanting to commit sucide. But each time I look at her I have guilt all over me. Is me that I deliver her to be born with one hand only I cause her to be so disadvantage. I was angry with my previous employee but I guess they were patience enough but things did not turn better on my side. I was slipping into very bad post natal depression and I had no friends to turn to. I felt that all my friends were not there for me. Finally one day I decided that I would make my reach to speak to a physiology doctor. They would call me every week to check on me. To see how I am and how I was coping. There were time that I miss my follow up w them after having attack of epsiod of wanting to end my life. It was like only that 5% that kept me hanging on not doing anything foolish. Plus my house renovation had not been a smooth one. I was paying till I was very dried and at time I could not afford to continue to pay. My renovation work had to be disrupted till I found money to pay off. That caused me to be very very stress and depressed. And I was terminated from my company it got even worst too. But it came it timely to take care of my girl as she was schedule for her operation and she had to be at home all the time and her different doctor follow up. On the average we see her different doctors 5-6 time a month.

She had her final operation last month and I Thot all is settle except for follow up so I went out to look for a job and the company actually do know about my situation. So started with work last week but after working for a week my daughter had a bacteria attack on her finger and had to be warded for 2 days. So I had to take unpaid urgent leave to w my daughter in hospital but the next day wen I was suppose to go back to work the boss of the company said no need to come in and meet in the afternoon. The next day I went in and they say that they cannot take that there will be possibility that I might need to urgent leave because of my daughter and ask me to leave. Which I have already prepared myself for it. But what come after that was unfair to me but I don't what can I do. The letter of offer came with a portion that state in regarded to the induction part. Basically it was a training provide by the company to understand their product so that I could go out to sell their product. One of the clause was that if I did not complete my probation which is 6 month and decided to leave I would have to compensate an amount of $500. Without thinking much I sign the letter of offer because I had no intention to resign from the job and that I needed money to feed my daughter. And I did not expect that they would treat me like this especially knowing my situation. He tried to push it to my capability that I did not prepare myself for the first trial mock presentation. But I told him that it wasn't valid enough because I only join less than a week and is a solution product that I need to learnt. During the interview they knew that I do not have any experience on the product. So what they did is to actually told me for the first week of pay it will be written off as due to the induction fee. And they even prepare a letter to make me sign on it saying I agree. I need to ask as such do they have to pay for my cpf still as I work for 5.5 days. I sign that form in anyway because I do not have a choice. But I am very upset over this.

As such right now I left with no job no money and pinching for my day to day. I'm running out of money to buy her pamper and her milk powder which is actually making me feel all so depress again.

I feel so lousy because I have not been working and money been very tight.

As my daughter is in infant care and turning 18 month soon I been searching for a new playgroup for her. Mainly being her current place is getting from bad to worst. So I email to a few school to check and most are on waiting list. As my daughter is special I let all the school know about it as I need the school to explain to the children and parents about her condition because many time whenever we are out we get stare . Up till now I struggle to accept all the looks which in turn has caused me to avoid going out. We are home mostly all the time. Which make me feel I a lousy mother. Many kids of her age goes to a lot of places like the zoo and all but she does not. There were time that some kids are nice they would sayang her but some will bully her. Some parent would apologies but some would not and allow their child to do that. And when that situation happen I jus keep quite and walk away because I don't know how to react. Those little kids are still young to understand I don't blame them but is really too much to handle. So recently I got an reply from a childcare that state they will not even consider to accept her because their teachers are not train for special need child. The moment I read that I got lost because jus because my daughter does not have a hand she consider special need? She is not entitle for a normal childhood ? Like even in her infant care she does not need any additional help she can hold her own bottle to drink her milk. Maybe feeding might be an issue but I sure she will learnt how to feed herself in due time. I cried to know this will be the kind of judgment past to her even before she start with anything. I cannot blame her I guess but they should have find out more before replying something so untactful that hurt me so much.

Right now I still need money to feed my baby and pay for our bills and all. So I hope that if anyone has some opportunity to share w me.
But I do not do mlm, insurance, property mainly because I tried before and it did not work for me.
If anyone know anybody who need data entry could help to recommend me . Or if there is any part time job for a few hour in the morning I would be gladly to do it. Because I think now that there isn't any company that is willing to accept a new staff that might need to be on leave so frequent for hospital appointment . Or if anyone would need event planning for birthday parties or event celebration or so. I can do it as I got very strong experience for it.

I getting so lost of my next time. And due to my depression I have become so hard to approach and I decided to cut of all my friends. I feel so pathetic. I so anger w myself but I cannot take a next step out.
 
Jus to add on my previous username is singlemomtobe but because that account I forget my password I have to create a new account.
 
Ckxh, i hv lost your hp no since i changed my hp..we were in contact for a brief moment when you just delivered...pls pm me your hp no..and where do u stay now? I will keep my antenna open if there is any suitable job.honestly, pls let me know your educational level and age so easier for me to look which areas of work closely match you when i come accross..
 
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Hi ckxh,

Your previous username is also Confused right?

Some of us might not be able to help you in finding job but if you needs other things like clothes, toys, pampers or milk powder, we might be able to help. You can post up the items you needs, some of us might have it.

Please do not do anything silly, your girl is still very small and needs you . If rant out your frustration in this forum makes you feel better, just come in anytime to release your anger.

Take care
 
Hi ckxh, I have been reading your story from the beginning of this tread, from when you just got pregnant. You are a very brave woman and mummy. I came across this website on ABS; do read the stories in there from people with ABS or parents of children born with ABS.

http://amnioticbandsyndrome.com/

The stories tell that many children born with ABS grow up to lead normal, active and very fulfilling lives. The ABS does not get in the way of them living life to the fullest, and they don't consider themselves to be different or abnormal from others! I believe that with your strong love for your daughter, you will raise her to be a happy, confident individual like them. So don't give up the fight!

Have you considered working in the government (ministry or stat board etc.)? Many govt agencies need admin/clerical staff all the time. The pay is stable, the working hours are regular (at least for admin/clerical staff) and it is not easy to be fired once you're past your probation period. Most importantly for you, the HR guidelines are very clear-cut - they will not anyhow dismiss you just because you need to take urgent childcare leave! Many govt job vacancies are advertised on online job search websites, like:

http://www.jobstreet.com.sg/
http://jobscentral.com.sg/

I will keep an eye out for you if I see a job vacancy somewhere.
 
Hi onsansg. Can pm me I msg u my number. I also recently change and I did not pay my bills and line got terminated.
 
Thank u for all the responded to my thread.

I only have n level so cannot get much job. Right now we are living mouth to mouth. I go for the cheapest milk powder and pampers. Just hope that she does not have ane. Just last month alone we be back to kk ane for more than 3 times.

Yes she so amazing. I have video of her that I always replay to remind me of that. How she started to crawl how she started to walk how she feed herself. There so many more that she would slowly learnt how to do. I just hope I would be able to find people who are really passionate to help with naturing her. To be honest I right now need to get her a new playgroup to attend. Would anyone recommend which school is good because I don't want to throw her to a place where she does not get protected.
 
I got a question to ask about her development.

At 17 months how much of solid food is enough? Most of the time for dinner she barely eat and start to spite out after a few bites. But she always greedy snatching my food. In her infant care she does not take porridge.

Is been for a long time that I have a good sleep. I am only like sleeping 3 hours a day. I getting so frustrated and helpless. Right before her operation that up to 6 months she was very easy to handle no screaming or much crying. She only cry when she need her night feeds but ever since her operation she been very very hand to handle. I check w doc , the doc cannot explain. But she became harder to handle. I can try putting her to bed at 8 but she would only sleep at 12. The less than 2 hour she start crying and screaming. I crying her would not help I give her milk she does not want to take. Many night I would be so desperate screaming on top of my voice please dun cry go and sleep. Some time it would last for 30 mins and it will happen twice in a night. Sometime within 5 mins she cook down and sleep back again. But I would worry that if I had hit her butt too hard or what. I feel like a terrible mom.

And she hasn't speak any word yet. She does make noise but no word. I don't know is it because I not a singing song mommy. I feel so guilty that I did not breast fees her and that I did rejected her initially. That why I do!'t feel that sing song to her.

And to make things more depressing was that I been to Atleast 2 interview daily but still I cannot get any job offer..

I am so tired and exhausted.
 
maybe you can try service line if you seriously desperate for job...
for example ajisen.. they only hire PR or singaporean so they always short of staffs..
supervisor or manager post 2K to 3K (exclude allowance) if im not wrong

there's always jobs in singapore.. is just tat finding the right one is difficult.. jia you!
 
Please remind yourself to stay calm when you handle your bb..it is normal she is difficult at certain stage especially bb can sense your mood..she also reacts to get your attention too.bb is innocent and pitiful..don't smack and don't shake her to prevent life long internal brain injury, even when you are stress..

Stay strong to keep finding a job..it is employer market and even myself have been applying into hundreds before get an offer..
 
Hi ckxh,
My boy is 18+ mths now, similar to your girl. No need to feel guilty for anything, you have done your best, some of us might struggle worst than you if we are in the same situation. So don't be so hard on yourself.

Remember that your girl is heading towards the "terrible twos'. From now is the period where her molars (back teeth) will be coming out, just like my boy, she may be easily irritable, not sleep well and cry because of uncomfortable. My boy also begun to reject food sometimes but will eat teething biscuits that help relieve the discomfort, and will also steal my food, because "what others eat always looks nicer" right? So get some teething biscuits on standby. Also they will start to challenge boundaries and authority soon, so just expect more tantrums and tell yourself that it will pass.

My boy also repeat sounds, words and sing/hum tunes but also refuse to call us or speak. Each kid is different and will take their time, so as long as you know she can verbalize and has no other hearing or other development issues, then just try your best to encourage and no need to worry.

As for sleeping time, if every night cannot sleep at 8pm, maybe you want to push back bedtime an hour? No need to fight with her, sometimes at this age, they start to sleep less. You can spend 8-9 pm to have lots of activities (singing/dancing/go downstairs and run around) with her to make her feel tired instead. No need expensive toys too as this age they like to practice skills and copy adults. So anything that makes sounds, or can practice open/close, or put in/take/out, or stack can be a toy to entertain her and give you some peace.

You can signal bedtime by switching off TV, all sounds and lights, if she doesn't want to sleep, you can just stay with her and let her sit in bed but don't talk/play with her. You can pretend to sleep yourself but peep to keep an eye on her. Hopefully you can train her to go sleep without fuss.

If you want, PM me your address. I can mail you some teething gel to try.
 
I been tearing non stop today because her infant care is telling me that based on their child care program for playgroup they think that my girl is not able to be on their program. They say unless I bring a shadow helper in to assist her. They are recommending that I send her to the special needs child care program.

Why do they have to classify her as disable jus because she is missing her left hand. Why do the society sentence her future before she could even start up. I was told that I should have fight for her chance to the childcare but knowing the Singapore system even if u fight is no use. Because they have already decided her fate. I try to be as positive as ever . Try to make sure she can just start up like any other kids.

Do anybody know where I can get night job. I am considering to out her at home instead of sending her to playgroup. And how do you teach your little one? Anybody can share with me the material from the childcare ?

How do I know if she in pain due to teething. Because previously when normally when she is in pain I would first thing think about is her wound, so never really think that is her teething issue.
 
You must go to seek MP's help for yoyr current infant care center to accept bb.. At the same time, seek help with MP or your constituency CDC for job matching..
 
Hi ckxh
I chance upon this thread today and I'm sorry to hear what your daughter and you have been going thru.

For job, would you consider working as freelance part time cleaner? My sil had low education and she used to be sahm looking after her 2 kids but as the living expenses are high in SG, she took up part time cleaner job. She now has 4 fixed houses to clean weekly on weekday when her kids are in school (she only do from Mon to Thu cos Fri and weekend are reserved for her kids) and she charges $15/hr with min 4 hours per house so each house she earns $60 per day. This might not be the best job of course but at least it give you the flexiblility to choose your own assignment and yet bring bacons home.

Otherwise, where do you stay? I have some babies stuffs (toys, clothing, diaper, snack, etc) to pass to you if you don't mind.
 
Hi ckxh,
for jobwise, I think it might be better to do up and send ur resume to those jobstreet and jobdb online databases and let them forward you those suitable jobs for you? Then you go and apply? Do also attend those available jobfairs for the districts. Eg. if you stay in Northeast areas, sometime they have jobfair in the CC and some jobs might be from the companies in the nearby area. Better for you to fetch ur gal in time and save on transport.
For ur current infant care centre, can you take a look at their toddler programme and see what tasks might be daunting for her that she will need a shadow helper?
For me, I am thinking that teaching ur own gal at home is pretty tough. You need to consider what things to build up motor skills, in addition to let her only scribbling (at her current age, she will not be able to hold the pen properly and do writing) and doing pasting. I do not really take note of what my kids learn during their playgroup time (will only go thru the exercises that the sch give back and ask my kids to finish up whatever was not done). Think there are many things to research on if you want to home-schooled ur gal.
As for teething pain, different child will have different reaction. Since your are with ur gal everyday, monitor her gum and teeth daily. If she do not eat well or has fallen sick, can guess it is due to teething if you see there is some white coming out from the gum.
 
Hi tansji

Thank you for offering to help with her daily item. I been borrowing around just to pay for her daily. I stay at Serangoon north area
 
Hi tansji

Thank you for offering to help with her daily item. I been borrowing around just to pay for her daily. I stay at Serangoon north area

Hi ckxh,

If you need other things, you can post it here and we see if we have or can help.

Stay strong and mostly importantly try to stay positive and cheerful for the sake of yourself and your bb

:)
 
Hi ckxh,

If you need other things, you can post it here and we see if we have or can help.

Stay strong and mostly importantly try to stay positive and cheerful for the sake of yourself and your bb

:)


Yes i agreed, please post here what you need, i can help too. Like milk powder, pampers etc.
 
I totally exhausted. One problem after another. Right now got admitted to hospital again. She not growing well at all. At 18 month she weighing 8.4kg only. Is it alright ? She got hfmd but is so serious that from Friday night till now only took 60ml of water not even milk. Doc gg to keep her for at least another 2 days n hopefully she can drink at least 400ml of milk if not will have to stay longer.

I need some sleeping bag / romper. or those with the feet cover for her. Currently she wearing the one for 9 month old but it tight for her.

Milk n pamper is too expensive to accept. Thank u everyone for offering to help.
 
Hi ckxh,

How is your girl now? Last time my girl got HFMD when she was abt 1 year plus...my mum made Ling Yang for her to drink to cool her fever down and I bought those Dentol wipes to wipe all her toys and things that she touched everyday.

Are you still contact with her father? You might want to let him know your situation right now and also approach your MP....It might not helps a lot but a little help is better than nothing at all.

Also what kind of sleeping bag are you referring? And how can we pass you the things if we have?

Take care
 
ckxh,
actually I think there is no need to get sleeping bag for your gal. Just wear rompers/cotton t-shirts with long pants and wear socks when she sleeps will do. Reason being, if you get bigger sizes ones, it can last longer thus no need for you to keep changing.
For 18 months old and weighing 8.4kg is a bit small size but if she eats well and dun fall sick often during normal days, I think it is ok. Maybe she belongs to those petite type. And for your daughter's milk powder, do you want to change from Gain IQ3 to other brands? I find Gain IQ3 expensive and will strain you financially. At 18 months old, she should be taking more solids and milk is only supplementary to her so maybe you can try switching to a more cheaper brands for her. Unless your daughter does not like the taste of the milk for the other brands, then you might want to stick to Gain IQ3 for her.
Usually children will not have good appetite when they got hfmd. Like bbfelice suggested, you can make Ling Yang for her to drink to help cool down her body. Just go to those tcm shops and tell them you want to make for a 18 months old child to drink, they will gather the necessary ingredients and I think it cost only a few dollars, better than staying longer in hospital which will eventually cost more. Do take care.
 
Hi ckxh, i just want to let you know that you are a very strong and brave girl to be going through what you are going through right now.. i am also going to be a single mother in a few months time and i am currently facing tremendous stress as well as fear.. if you need a listening ear or support, i can lend you one.. :) cos i can imagine all the stress you are going through and i would like to lend a helping hand to you.. :) be strong and if you do not mind we can keep in contact via whats app? pm me your number if you do not mind..
 
Well everyone here, has stated their situation, confusion and heartfelt issues here. But being a single mother takes alot of effort and need to make alot of sacrifices.
As usually, children grows up with both parents arounds, so they get equal love and attention from both mother and father.
However, If you are a single mother. You will play a big part as you will be your child's mother and father too.
Love and bonding is very important for your child as it will help in the future days for them to feel comfortable to share their thoughts and etc.
 
I'm sorry for silence for the past week. Thing been really tough as my financial woes has really eaten me up n cannot afford my bills till my phone line is being cut. Been quarreling w her father n my emotion was very bad till I feel that my depression was really eating me . I had very bad thots of sucide and bring harm to my girl. I know is very wrong to this way but I really tried my best to be sane. And she getting way to mischievous for me to handle she like to beat me and bite me. I talk to her tell her no she does not listen. She constantly need my attention that I dun even have spare time for myself. The moment she nap not more than an hour I barely have time for myself. My house is in a mess I can't make my house clean. I hate my mother. She even say to put my daughter for adoption . What kind of mother is she? I trying my best to hold on to my daughter but is jus to overwhelming for me. For the past 18 month I had countless of hospital stay and visit thus i. The end got terminated by previous employer. But as I am home I cannot do anything cos my daughter constantly need my attention which my mother dun understand. She think that I pure lazy but is so challenging for me. To be honest my depression is so bad that up keeping my cleanliness and my daughter every day is a struggle already. Why no one understand what am I going thru. I always think if I was the one in the wrong that decide to cut of my friends but I really find no one that understand how I going thru. One problem after another. I cannot take it. I really wish I can get knock and die . I hate my mother. Jus because she helping to pay with the loan for the house to cover me at the moment. She was the one who caused us in this messed. If she knew How to fight for our rights when she had divorce w my father I would not have end up like this . She try to take my daughter to commit sucide .
 
What is sanctuary house? How can they help. I staying at serangoon north. I on msf for the last 3 month. It will end in nov. Family centre I spoke to them like in sept until now I haven call them yet cos I trying to be self reliant as much as possible.
 
I need advise.

1) who can I go for help for my hdb loan repayment?
2) is there any sincere prudential insurance agent that can help me to claim .
3) other than msf and family centre where else can I get help.
 
Hi ckxh,
I have 4 pack of size XXL Huggies pull up pants to let go since my son have wean off diaper can your gal wear Huggies brand.
I have no intention to sell and will like to pass to you after learning about your life story. Please let me know if Huggies brand is acceptable so I can arrange to pass to you the diapers. Understand that your gal is wearing XL but she will need XXL sooner.
Hope to hear from you or you can PM me.
 
I'm sorry for silence for the past week. Thing been really tough as my financial woes has really eaten me up n cannot afford my bills till my phone line is being cut. Been quarreling w her father n my emotion was very bad till I feel that my depression was really eating me . I had very bad thots of sucide and bring harm to my girl. I know is very wrong to this way but I really tried my best to be sane. And she getting way to mischievous for me to handle she like to beat me and bite me. I talk to her tell her no she does not listen. She constantly need my attention that I dun even have spare time for myself. The moment she nap not more than an hour I barely have time for myself. My house is in a mess I can't make my house clean. I hate my mother. She even say to put my daughter for adoption . What kind of mother is she? I trying my best to hold on to my daughter but is jus to overwhelming for me. For the past 18 month I had countless of hospital stay and visit thus i. The end got terminated by previous employer. But as I am home I cannot do anything cos my daughter constantly need my attention which my mother dun understand. She think that I pure lazy but is so challenging for me. To be honest my depression is so bad that up keeping my cleanliness and my daughter every day is a struggle already. Why no one understand what am I going thru. I always think if I was the one in the wrong that decide to cut of my friends but I really find no one that understand how I going thru. One problem after another. I cannot take it. I really wish I can get knock and die . I hate my mother. Jus because she helping to pay with the loan for the house to cover me at the moment. She was the one who caused us in this messed. If she knew How to fight for our rights when she had divorce w my father I would not have end up like this . She try to take my daughter to commit sucide .

Everyone in this world has their own way of thinking. There is no Right or Wrong in this. Some people are able to handle their stress well. Some people dont know how to handle their problems.
Firstly, whatever you are going through, try to see it small. When you see it big as a Dinosaur, you will end up getting eaten up by the Dinosaur.
Secondly, take things easy. Each at time, slowly and steadily. Don't rush! When you rush, you will get more panic and it will worsen your state of depression.
Third, You said your daughter take a nap less than an hour each time, use that time to take a paper and note down each problems/situations you need to handle.
Fourth, After noting it down, see which one is the 1st priority to the last priority.
E.g I need to go to work (Money) , I need to take care of my daughter (Infant/childcare), I need to bring my daughter for regular medical check ups (Time & Money), I Need to clean the house (Time) ,etc
After writing down, See how you can manage your time. Everyone has the same 24 hours in their life to handle all problems that arises in their daily life.
If you are a single mother, childcare/infant care will have subsidies. There are many goverment help to single mother.
Your daughter can be biting or beating you, take it lightly. Dont get angry. Try consulting the doctor and ask why is she doing it even though when you say dont do it.
Your mother might have asked you to give her up for adoption because, she might feel that you are having too much too handle.
Talk to her and make her understand that how important is your daughter and the problems you are facing.
Every mother, will be our best bombshelter to hide in and the best shield.
She might have brought your daughter to commit suicide, maybe she has her own set of problems and you may not understand because she might not be able to share it with you as you have your own set of problems and depression.
So try to handle things by your own. Help her financially by going to a part time job of your interest.
 

i need advise as i'm making a decision to be a single mother. my due is in may next year. so hoping any of you single mother is able to share your experience with me.

just hoping i'm not making a wrong choice to bring the baby out to suffer .

my concern are financially , housing.

right now i just applied flat with my mother who is divorce but no result are out yet and my stomach will not be able to hid. i'm staying with a aunty who cannot know i'm pregnant if not she will chase me out of the house.

i'm currently working my pay is not more than 2k. i have read that maternity leave is not given to those who are not married or those that are covered by worker law which does not cover executive. does any one know about this.

how much did you spend every month to maintain the baby ?
Hi strong mummy,

Its really nice to know that you are keeping the baby although you are young and single moreover. I am happy that you have the courage to bring the baby into this world.
In my greatest experience, I have seen many young mummies. I strongly believe that government is helping out in many ways. Moreover if you think you really need a shelter urgently, you can seek help to get into a shelter through recommendation via cdc or family service centre. A temporary holding place are there. I understand that you are not earning more than 2k. But I strongly believe once the baby come out. You can work even harder to give the baby the best. But pampers and milk powder are expensive nowadays. You have to start saving from now to your due date so that you wont have much difficulties raising the child on your own. I am sure mummy you can do it.. I am really happy for you.
If there is anything that I can help. Please do let me know.
You can PM me anytime.
Thank you.
 

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