Problem staying with mil
- Thread starter kim_turtle
- Start date
kim_turtle
Member
Yup going to tell her that soon.
I'm also staying together with my in-laws.
Guess its nv ending stories.. actually even with own mother, when come to kids sure will quarrel. But own mother quarrel liao next day good again. If mil.. hahaha.. gd luck.. remember for life..
Anyway I think I'm in worst situation. The house is not even mine. Is my hub n inlaw name combine buy and my hub still paying for it. And he cannot withdraw his name cos my inlaw cpf no $ to return. So I'm living under their roof.. I have no position in the house at all. Even my gal also hv higher position than me. All I have is a 1/3 room shared with hub n kid. No place for my stuff. All at my mum house until one fine day my mum buay tahan. Ask me clear my stuff cos she need the space. In the end I ended up throwing all my memorable stuff away. Some pri sch n sec sch fren made for me one. Feeling soooooo sad.. like no where to go.
Sometimes feeling sick and tired need a place to slp... I need to go book hotel 81 to have a gd slp.
And my inlaw are very unhygenic. They sneeze liao the mucus use hand wipe on shirt.. then carryy gal.. in the end a stay at home baby get sick as often as a cc baby. So I wan to send her to cc since no diff and cc is better cos they will teach her some stuff. But my inlaw reluntant. My gal jus kena hfmd! Imagine at home also kena... go out come back nv wash hand.. of cos sick lah.. now praying hard the cc I choose got place asap..
Another thing is they like to feed her rubbish food. Mind u she is just 1 yo. They feed her ice kachang ice cream kfc etc.. u name it.. they say she wan eat so they gv.. of cos lah eat in front of her.. cannot go kitchen eat must eat in living rm. Den drop everywhere on the floor waiting for my gal to pick n eat loh...
I envy those that can hv their own home. Even if inlaw goes over stay. In the event of quarrel u still can say its my house. I can't.. only swallow swallow..
Guess its nv ending stories.. actually even with own mother, when come to kids sure will quarrel. But own mother quarrel liao next day good again. If mil.. hahaha.. gd luck.. remember for life..
Anyway I think I'm in worst situation. The house is not even mine. Is my hub n inlaw name combine buy and my hub still paying for it. And he cannot withdraw his name cos my inlaw cpf no $ to return. So I'm living under their roof.. I have no position in the house at all. Even my gal also hv higher position than me. All I have is a 1/3 room shared with hub n kid. No place for my stuff. All at my mum house until one fine day my mum buay tahan. Ask me clear my stuff cos she need the space. In the end I ended up throwing all my memorable stuff away. Some pri sch n sec sch fren made for me one. Feeling soooooo sad.. like no where to go.
Sometimes feeling sick and tired need a place to slp... I need to go book hotel 81 to have a gd slp.
And my inlaw are very unhygenic. They sneeze liao the mucus use hand wipe on shirt.. then carryy gal.. in the end a stay at home baby get sick as often as a cc baby. So I wan to send her to cc since no diff and cc is better cos they will teach her some stuff. But my inlaw reluntant. My gal jus kena hfmd! Imagine at home also kena... go out come back nv wash hand.. of cos sick lah.. now praying hard the cc I choose got place asap..
Another thing is they like to feed her rubbish food. Mind u she is just 1 yo. They feed her ice kachang ice cream kfc etc.. u name it.. they say she wan eat so they gv.. of cos lah eat in front of her.. cannot go kitchen eat must eat in living rm. Den drop everywhere on the floor waiting for my gal to pick n eat loh...
I envy those that can hv their own home. Even if inlaw goes over stay. In the event of quarrel u still can say its my house. I can't.. only swallow swallow..
porky_jean
Active Member
sign...so many of us having mils problem esp staying together...we got our own lovenest but doesn't feel like our own now..sometimes I also don't feel like gg back to my own house...everyday mil complain to me abt the maid..even if I sick got mc, I also stay in office cos more peaceful than home. reach home only feel like looking at my kids and play w them but can only stay inside my room and ask them to come in
kim_turtle
Member
Sinday Wednesday I cook lunch for myself & my gal. I didn't cook my PIL share. And will cook dinner for my husband and his aunts from today onwards. Im thinking should I cook my PIL share?
I don't mind cook for my FIL but for my MIL I need to consider. Cos she will complain or comments all the foods. Im not very good in cooking, but I told my husband don't expect I will cook very very delicious dinner. But I will try my very best to cook.
I don't mind cook for my FIL but for my MIL I need to consider. Cos she will complain or comments all the foods. Im not very good in cooking, but I told my husband don't expect I will cook very very delicious dinner. But I will try my very best to cook.
kim_turtle
Member
*since
sweetmelody
Member
PIL also quite calculative.. lucky is my husband not gonna stay with his parents... cos his parents got money and not that old.. I jus tell my hubby that our 5 room BTO flat im gonna have a room to be my wardrobe and one room for baby and my living room is big enough to let us have a small room I intend to make that a playroom or even my maid room next time if I gonna hire maid..
cos hubby also cos of BTO quarrel with FIL.. so 2 years liao he nv talk to his parents nor his snobbish bro and the wife... me too talk only when needed but still will greet whenever we come back cos its a must..
cos hubby also cos of BTO quarrel with FIL.. so 2 years liao he nv talk to his parents nor his snobbish bro and the wife... me too talk only when needed but still will greet whenever we come back cos its a must..
Mercury_Blue
Member
im using my hubby account
u all already lucky . mine wash clothes cannot use my fil bammbo.. so angry i go buy myself 5 bamboo hang inside my bedroom.
when first move in . i was so angry , my hubby clothes will put inside pail with my clothes, i come back after work saw ,y pile of clothes was messy . obv is my fil did it to look for his son son. i so angry i told my hubby and bro in law why must he do tt not respecting me . then they keep telling him dun do tt. so now he dun do it anyhow, i keep using " our new house coming" let him know he must let go his son to be take care our family .
now sometimes go late late like 10 plus or 11 with friends. he will tell my hubby , when i cant come home early to bath .. i was like wth i have my own life le. im not those last time woman who stay at home do housework i also got my life.
lucky house coming soon.. imaging my two yrs nightmare haiz ....
u all already lucky . mine wash clothes cannot use my fil bammbo.. so angry i go buy myself 5 bamboo hang inside my bedroom.
when first move in . i was so angry , my hubby clothes will put inside pail with my clothes, i come back after work saw ,y pile of clothes was messy . obv is my fil did it to look for his son son. i so angry i told my hubby and bro in law why must he do tt not respecting me . then they keep telling him dun do tt. so now he dun do it anyhow, i keep using " our new house coming" let him know he must let go his son to be take care our family .
now sometimes go late late like 10 plus or 11 with friends. he will tell my hubby , when i cant come home early to bath .. i was like wth i have my own life le. im not those last time woman who stay at home do housework i also got my life.
lucky house coming soon.. imaging my two yrs nightmare haiz ....
sweetmelody
Member
huh... why cannot use his bamboo stick?? so weird de lor..
So interesting to find this thread.
My mum/ MIL is totally opposite in character, which in a way, taught me to appreciate the good in them (although some of the unbearables still happens).
My mum was the typical MIL which many of you mentioned above. Used to wake up at 5am, cook etc.. now she is almost 77yrs old.. hearing left 20%, on TV super loud.. grumbles a lot.. stubborn.. a bit of dementia etc etc... not easy to stay with her. The good side, she is a hygiene freak at times, try dropping food on the floor/ the dog pee on the floor.. she will appear with a cloth/mop in 5 mins (although her room is in a total mess - hoarder + dementia.. cannot throw, she will get very angry).
My MIL is the what we called the lazy MIL, her typical 4 activities is TV, play Slotomania on iPad, sleep and food. I will prepare breakfast, on days when I woke up late/ at home till lunch.. she will wait till I cook (yesterday wait till 2pm and ask me.. what today no need to eat?). However, I learnt to appreciate her carefree mentality.. and really hope to achieve it one day. I nag at her a lot.. and she doesn't get angry.. or she will bear with me (not easy for her, cos my temper can be quite bad, although much better now). When she cooks, it is very saltish, and since my girl was a toddler, she will add soy sauce in her weaning porridge, and tell me no taste not nice.. so now, my girl's prefer saltish food (I very angry).. and doesn't force my girl to eat veg n fruits since weaning.. cos she doesn't like. Haiz.. hope my girl grows to like it one day soon.
Maybe we are all looking at finding a MIL that is like our mums.. afterall, we grow up with their habits and lifestyle. It is a blessing that I see the 2 opposite characters and really, I think my MIL is the easier one to stay with.
My mum/ MIL is totally opposite in character, which in a way, taught me to appreciate the good in them (although some of the unbearables still happens).
My mum was the typical MIL which many of you mentioned above. Used to wake up at 5am, cook etc.. now she is almost 77yrs old.. hearing left 20%, on TV super loud.. grumbles a lot.. stubborn.. a bit of dementia etc etc... not easy to stay with her. The good side, she is a hygiene freak at times, try dropping food on the floor/ the dog pee on the floor.. she will appear with a cloth/mop in 5 mins (although her room is in a total mess - hoarder + dementia.. cannot throw, she will get very angry).
My MIL is the what we called the lazy MIL, her typical 4 activities is TV, play Slotomania on iPad, sleep and food. I will prepare breakfast, on days when I woke up late/ at home till lunch.. she will wait till I cook (yesterday wait till 2pm and ask me.. what today no need to eat?). However, I learnt to appreciate her carefree mentality.. and really hope to achieve it one day. I nag at her a lot.. and she doesn't get angry.. or she will bear with me (not easy for her, cos my temper can be quite bad, although much better now). When she cooks, it is very saltish, and since my girl was a toddler, she will add soy sauce in her weaning porridge, and tell me no taste not nice.. so now, my girl's prefer saltish food (I very angry).. and doesn't force my girl to eat veg n fruits since weaning.. cos she doesn't like. Haiz.. hope my girl grows to like it one day soon.
Maybe we are all looking at finding a MIL that is like our mums.. afterall, we grow up with their habits and lifestyle. It is a blessing that I see the 2 opposite characters and really, I think my MIL is the easier one to stay with.
sinnyy
Active Member
Glad another mummy refered me to this thread about MILs.
My husband kept bugging my MIL to stay with us...without consulting me. In the end, she really did, now 3 months down the road, I had a war of words with her..giving her a pc of my mind.
- She will keep scolding the maid non stop...picking on v. trivial or non existent matters
- She discriminate maids..
- She sits and watch TV for 15 hr a day on the couch..whole family cannot use the TV except her cos her butt in attached to the sofa
- She does not take care of my kids at all..she will only give ORDERS and commands people to do things
- She will fart, burp and say things like WAW LAU EYY....to my kids (kids will pcik up rite..???)
- She talks damn loud and rude to anyone
- When she lie and sit on my sofa, her feet always step on my sofa set. so Unhygienic.
Well...finally told her off i am unhappy of her stay here..ever since she been here, i had been depressed and hiding in my room.
She said she will move, I hope she means it..and soon.
Huge mistake my husband made is to lure her to stay with us.
My husband kept bugging my MIL to stay with us...without consulting me. In the end, she really did, now 3 months down the road, I had a war of words with her..giving her a pc of my mind.
- She will keep scolding the maid non stop...picking on v. trivial or non existent matters
- She discriminate maids..
- She sits and watch TV for 15 hr a day on the couch..whole family cannot use the TV except her cos her butt in attached to the sofa
- She does not take care of my kids at all..she will only give ORDERS and commands people to do things
- She will fart, burp and say things like WAW LAU EYY....to my kids (kids will pcik up rite..???)
- She talks damn loud and rude to anyone
- When she lie and sit on my sofa, her feet always step on my sofa set. so Unhygienic.
Well...finally told her off i am unhappy of her stay here..ever since she been here, i had been depressed and hiding in my room.
She said she will move, I hope she means it..and soon.
Huge mistake my husband made is to lure her to stay with us.
wivi789
Active Member
same plight as u all.............its my house too but doesn't looke like mine...........everyday after work coop in my room.
weekends always trying to go out early morning and return home late....this type of life damn depressing...........dunno how long to endure.
all for the sake of my daughter....i am tryng to put on a happy front. dun want her to get affected but children are very smart. sometimes she see me in tears, she will come over and console me, saying last time in our previous hse better(not staying with mil). no quarrels, no arguments..daddy and mummy very happy.
mil also told my hubby she will move but dunno how true and how soon......sianz dunno is it just lip-talk only..........
weekends always trying to go out early morning and return home late....this type of life damn depressing...........dunno how long to endure.
all for the sake of my daughter....i am tryng to put on a happy front. dun want her to get affected but children are very smart. sometimes she see me in tears, she will come over and console me, saying last time in our previous hse better(not staying with mil). no quarrels, no arguments..daddy and mummy very happy.
mil also told my hubby she will move but dunno how true and how soon......sianz dunno is it just lip-talk only..........
wivi789
Active Member
sinnyy
did u ask your hub why he invite her in? and now your hub also agree thats its his mistake?
i always ask myself once mil moves out, will the relations be better or worse? what do u all think?
kim_turtle
Member
I think my mil can be friend with ur mil......
simplegirlnextdoor
Member
Im glad ive found tis thread...me still stayin wif pil...am counting down for my bto keys collection in a yr time or less. Dating time r/s okie..alrdy hv little complaints abt me...marriage worsen...mil call up my mum complaint abt me till my bro told me cos mum didnt tell me...pissed to e max...r/s wif mil worsen...totally not on talking terms totally stranger..cos mil curse on my dad go n die...which is my last draw...if scold me i can take it...but not my parents...plus alot of vulgar words on me..heng hubby sided me...cos our r/s was oso on rocks during tat time...now i dont greet or talk to pil...life is much better...
sinnyy
Active Member
wivi: same plight.. There is always better happiness and harmoney when MIL not ard. My hubby and my relationship is actually better when she leaves, because we do the things we love to do..chit chat, talk abt anything under the sun...now we chi chat she will stand at dining table and listen. damn disturbing.
werry: less argument and disagreement is really a good thing...at least we as DIL can get our normal life back and normal life with husband...she behave like empress when she stays here.
simplegirl: good that ur hse will be ready soon, then no need to tolerate them anymore.
I cannot understand why MIL stay with us the are the visitors and should behave like visitors and not owners of house and employer of maid.
Kim: Haha...they are exactly the same...? seems like lot of MILs is like mine....
werry: less argument and disagreement is really a good thing...at least we as DIL can get our normal life back and normal life with husband...she behave like empress when she stays here.
simplegirl: good that ur hse will be ready soon, then no need to tolerate them anymore.
I cannot understand why MIL stay with us the are the visitors and should behave like visitors and not owners of house and employer of maid.
Kim: Haha...they are exactly the same...? seems like lot of MILs is like mine....
kim_turtle
Member
Yes, both of them exactly the same. I been cooking dinner for the pass 2 weeks. She didn't even help me take care my daughter, just sit down there and watch tv only. When I cooking is one of aunty help me look after her. So yesterday I tell her straight, next week onwards I can't cook anymore. Cos school holidays finished, aunty need to work nobody help me take care of my daughter le.
sinnyy
Active Member
wivi: Husband is too good a son...she has elsewhere to stay liao but he kept bugging her to move in. Well, I hope he realised his mistake cos he never said so, but the conflict will remain if she insist on staying with us.
kim turtle: damn sad rite..MIL always sit ard and watch tv mine can sit and watch for more than 10 hours, when kids cry, fight, we need help to take care she also does not help out. I feel so disapointed with her bochap attitude. So i finally told her off lor. Always sit around and scold maid, no help from her for the last couple of months. Not even once I saw her helping with kids.
kim turtle: damn sad rite..MIL always sit ard and watch tv mine can sit and watch for more than 10 hours, when kids cry, fight, we need help to take care she also does not help out. I feel so disapointed with her bochap attitude. So i finally told her off lor. Always sit around and scold maid, no help from her for the last couple of months. Not even once I saw her helping with kids.
kim_turtle
Member
Shall we create a whatsapp group?
wivi789
Active Member
has the whatsapp group chat created? if yes,pls add me in.
ytd, hub told me he has hinted to his mother twice to ask her to leave, but still staying put. now the biggest prob is not just me and mil. its my hub and his mum. he can't stand him mum anymore. she keep wanting to control him, his every movements, like a baby, like a child.
hub cannot take it and say he will keep saying until she moves out and that is his ultimate goal for this yr. sometimes i feel if he hasn't invite her in, all this probs will not surface and end up he and his mum relations will not worsen too.
mil house is rented out so now waiting for her lease up. hub reassure me that he will never ever allow his mum to rent out the flat again.
my only back up plan is if shes not gg to move. i will sell my flat and buy a resale one once my #2 is out. Most probably will move out next yr. is that a forceable way to get her out? What do u all think?
all i can do now is to wait for hub to fulfill his promise....
ytd, hub told me he has hinted to his mother twice to ask her to leave, but still staying put. now the biggest prob is not just me and mil. its my hub and his mum. he can't stand him mum anymore. she keep wanting to control him, his every movements, like a baby, like a child.
hub cannot take it and say he will keep saying until she moves out and that is his ultimate goal for this yr. sometimes i feel if he hasn't invite her in, all this probs will not surface and end up he and his mum relations will not worsen too.
mil house is rented out so now waiting for her lease up. hub reassure me that he will never ever allow his mum to rent out the flat again.
my only back up plan is if shes not gg to move. i will sell my flat and buy a resale one once my #2 is out. Most probably will move out next yr. is that a forceable way to get her out? What do u all think?
all i can do now is to wait for hub to fulfill his promise....
wivi789
Active Member
same like u, though we are staying under the same roof, i did not greet her and we also dun talk to each other. she say i no respect and v rude for not acknowledging her. but i just can't bring myself to call her 'ma' as it does not come from the heart. so i rather not greet.
each time we cross path in the house, i treat her as transparent.
simplegirlnextdoor
Member
Ive even labelled as evil....plus loudspeaker to whole of his relatives on her side of story. Me just keep quiet lor...no point talking so much & let hubby handle...
kim_turtle
Member
Pm me number, will create later.
gohalison
Active Member
Sometimes I wonder if my mil is frm Hell.
Hubby and I are always quarrelling over her, and when we quarrel, she will sing song, like very happy!
It's been a tough 1 year, finally hubby agreed that we will move out - to save our marriage.
I know that if we continue staying together, they will say that I am in the wrong, I am picking on their mother.
If we move out, they will accuse me of convincing their brother to "desert" their mother, but if they are so filial, they shd invite their own mother to stay in their house..
i know that whatever that I do, in their eyes, I am still in the wrong..
I don't think after I step out of her hse, I will want to come back and visit her, even on CNY...and I don't intend to invite them over to my new hse too..
am I very petty?
my mum says that it will be gd if i can invite them over..just let bygones be bygones...
Hubby and I are always quarrelling over her, and when we quarrel, she will sing song, like very happy!
It's been a tough 1 year, finally hubby agreed that we will move out - to save our marriage.
I know that if we continue staying together, they will say that I am in the wrong, I am picking on their mother.
If we move out, they will accuse me of convincing their brother to "desert" their mother, but if they are so filial, they shd invite their own mother to stay in their house..
i know that whatever that I do, in their eyes, I am still in the wrong..
I don't think after I step out of her hse, I will want to come back and visit her, even on CNY...and I don't intend to invite them over to my new hse too..
am I very petty?
my mum says that it will be gd if i can invite them over..just let bygones be bygones...
Yea.. Atleast invite her over if you don't want to. I did that too. She wanted to see her grandson and I cant take away her rights also. But atleast we are not staying together so I just close one eye.
simplegirlnextdoor
Member
Gohalison: same thought...i dont wish to visit them once collected my bto keys...on e 2nd thought i feel sad for my hubby.. those yrs hv passed...it affected my health, work, r/s wif hubby went rocks bottom...mil even encourage hubby to divorce wif me...i pity hubby n fil..both r kind soul...
My PIL also encourage hubby to divorce me when they found out he's having affair. They think I'm the cause of it. They also look down on my family cause my parents are separated. I'm glad I no longer stay w them anymore.
gohalison
Active Member
I don't think my mil wants to see my son. Our conflict started a year ago when she pushed and shouted at my 9yr old child and asked him to get out of her rm - for no reason. We tried to ask if my child is naughty, but she says is her rm etc..and when my child greeted her, she also scolded him for calling her 'ah ma'.
So now me and my boy don't greet her anymore. She has not spoken to my child for a year. But she always look forward to seeing the rest of the grandchildren cos she only sees them on CNY, birthday..
gohalison
Active Member
Really too much, how can she encourage her son to divorce? Actually I don't pity my hubby. I think I'm very heartless. I pity myself more...she wakes me up at 3-4am. If I'm still in bed at 7am, she will purposely slammed her rm door, living rm door and gate before she goes out etc..she's just like some fairytale stepmother..
sweetmelody
Member
Gohalison: lucky u not staying wif her anymore... Staying together indeed will cause more conflict, ur mil looking forward to see her other grandchildren cos all not staying wif her so if course need-less to say sure no conflict.. I always believe staying together will cause more conflict...
That day I was reading newspaper..
There was an article abt son ditching his mum and ask her to seek gov for help. Then they were named as unfilial...
Sometimes I wonder is there a reason for it before we start saying ppl unfilial. Are we in a way unfilial too? When we dun wan to stay with them.
There was an article abt son ditching his mum and ask her to seek gov for help. Then they were named as unfilial...
Sometimes I wonder is there a reason for it before we start saying ppl unfilial. Are we in a way unfilial too? When we dun wan to stay with them.
wivi789
Active Member
Hi ladies
Has the whatsapp group chat been created? If yes pls add me in.
Just learnt from hub that her rental lease will be up till next year feb cny. Hb will not allow her to rent out again else he says he will die first; we has been suffering for more than a year liao. Really cant take it anymore....
Let bygones...easier said than done. To me the hurt she has inflicted on the family can never be forgotten. Hence once she moves out, i believe i will never appear in hub family side functions etc. a lot say time will heal but i really unsure cos looking at the situation is already v suffocating n unbearable.
Has the whatsapp group chat been created? If yes pls add me in.
Just learnt from hub that her rental lease will be up till next year feb cny. Hb will not allow her to rent out again else he says he will die first; we has been suffering for more than a year liao. Really cant take it anymore....
Let bygones...easier said than done. To me the hurt she has inflicted on the family can never be forgotten. Hence once she moves out, i believe i will never appear in hub family side functions etc. a lot say time will heal but i really unsure cos looking at the situation is already v suffocating n unbearable.
wivi789
Active Member
My mil has never stayed with her mil before. My hub ask her what if u really stay with ah ma. She say she will not be like me, will be v fillial n understanding towards old ppl. My hub shoot her back, just lip talk only, wait till stay together n lots of things will surface. She keep quiet. Becos my hub knows her mum has got a very strong character. Only my deceased fil can tolerate her.
gohalison
Active Member
ya, counting down to moving out - next wk.
think she's also counting down to us moving out - cos she has plans to sell her flat - that was her 1st qn - "when can I sell my flat?" when hubby told her that we are moving out...
It is quite sad that becos of her, hubby's siblings stopped talking to us (including to my child) for more than a year...in their eyes, we are always wrong...we are always picking on their poor mother...
and so, I don't see the need on why we shd invite them to our house - when they have been giving us the cold shoulder for the past 1 year...
it's time to take my life back from the people that are causing us so much pain and making us unhappy...would like to close this chapter, and move on...
kim_turtle
Member
Not yet create. ... pm me ur number ba. I create later. Who want to join, pm me number pls
sweetmelody
Member
hubby's siblings also didn't talk to us.. they are like a family we are jus like a rent house de... sigh... but nvm la.. I also don't need the siblings to come talk to me.. let it be ba... they happy can liao..
cheer up ya since u are moving out le, I believe the relationship will be better ba
silly cat
Member
My mil like to play *run away home game* and make everybody look for her. When we start calling her she will give lots of patten, complain son in law doesn't show respect to her, eat without telling her or not coming back home without telling her. My heart was like come on u are staying at your son in law house . Why he need to ask permission from u every single things? When she come to my house she will find fault on my helper, scold her for nothing. Weekend she come to my place to stay I will stay in my room my my kids..I can't stand her.. she like to compare my kids with others.. * that granddaughter she looking after so clever so smart etc* always compare.. she will said last time so n so I look after was so strong now u see so weak.. she will tell everybody how good she is.. I always tell my husband he and his siblings should not bother her whenever she start her patten/drama. The more they pamper her the more patten she give.. and every year she want her kids to bring her holiday, in holiday she always create drama..throw tantrum, any place she go no air con *here come the volcano*. She wikl Scold everybody or throw tantrum..when come to my house no chilli she scold me *no chilli eat what* my husband will try to please her and go and buy her chilli for her. She treat my house like hers, come to my house complain this complain that. I feel like telling her this is my house not yours why you bother so much. She treated all her kids house like hers, all her kids got to give in to her till the extend she will hold all her kids house key and they have to give her a room to her whenever she come over n stay when she not around will lock the room n let no 1 entre .mil got 4 kids and all married with kids, she got her personal room in her 3 kids house. Mine she also wanted a room n hold on to the key but I told my husband off, why she need a room for herself and lock it up. She don't pay for this house. Mil wanted to treat all her kids house like hers and we the dil and sil like helper and order us. She will always give problem I hope she won't come my house at all.
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fion40
Active Member
My case worst, all my hubby family, his dad,mum,bro, sister's bb all staying with us....I dun mind my pil staying with us but hate his bro staying with us.
When I was still in dating stage, his bro use his leg to touch my leg when we were sitting in the living room one day, at first I thot it juz accidentally but after I shifted my leg, he touch again!!! From that day onwards, I really start to dislike his brO.
After my hub and I Got married, they move in to stay with us as my mil cpf not enuff to cover her hdb instalment. You may ask why my bil cannot takeover the hdb loan instalments right? My bro was in the past not employed or can say he is too lazy to work...his Hp bill still need my sil to pay for him, while he was unemployed, he kept calling 1900 number to chat with gals, end up the bill my mil have to pay. But this is not why my bil cannot take over the hdb loan but my mil also know his eldest son thus she also not keen for my bil to takeover the hdb loan. She felt she pay so much then my bil takeover , pay so little then the flat is his...
What about my fil, my fil did no cpf job in his early years and was on and off with job thus he too cannot shoulder the hdb loan.
Anyway, got once my bil go toilet then just kept the door ajar,I passed by and hear urining sound and told my hub, my bil overheard then claim soundly that he was washing his leg... PLS LA!!!! it different sound all together!!!!
Then he brought his gf back without informing us and even given OUR house keys to her!!! His gf also one kind, go ppl house, sit on the sofa like her house, put her stupid leg on my sofa (my sofa is white).
Same with some writers here, I began staying in my room only cos I am too sad to stay in the other part of my house. My white sofa become yellow but I agree it maybe time factor too. My storeroom and backyard full of babies items (not my babies).
Some times my mil changed my sil bb soiled diaper but forgot to throw it away and leave it in their room dustbin (imagine the smell!!!!)
All these while, I never quarrel with any of his family members cos I am just waiting for next year when I can finally have my house back but I guess, his bro should know by now I dislike him cos I dun talk to him at all.
My pil will move to their daughter flat and sell their flat. My bil? Dunno and dun care, juz know that I will definitely not allow him to stay with us....
When I was still in dating stage, his bro use his leg to touch my leg when we were sitting in the living room one day, at first I thot it juz accidentally but after I shifted my leg, he touch again!!! From that day onwards, I really start to dislike his brO.
After my hub and I Got married, they move in to stay with us as my mil cpf not enuff to cover her hdb instalment. You may ask why my bil cannot takeover the hdb loan instalments right? My bro was in the past not employed or can say he is too lazy to work...his Hp bill still need my sil to pay for him, while he was unemployed, he kept calling 1900 number to chat with gals, end up the bill my mil have to pay. But this is not why my bil cannot take over the hdb loan but my mil also know his eldest son thus she also not keen for my bil to takeover the hdb loan. She felt she pay so much then my bil takeover , pay so little then the flat is his...
What about my fil, my fil did no cpf job in his early years and was on and off with job thus he too cannot shoulder the hdb loan.
Anyway, got once my bil go toilet then just kept the door ajar,I passed by and hear urining sound and told my hub, my bil overheard then claim soundly that he was washing his leg... PLS LA!!!! it different sound all together!!!!
Then he brought his gf back without informing us and even given OUR house keys to her!!! His gf also one kind, go ppl house, sit on the sofa like her house, put her stupid leg on my sofa (my sofa is white).
Same with some writers here, I began staying in my room only cos I am too sad to stay in the other part of my house. My white sofa become yellow but I agree it maybe time factor too. My storeroom and backyard full of babies items (not my babies).
Some times my mil changed my sil bb soiled diaper but forgot to throw it away and leave it in their room dustbin (imagine the smell!!!!)
All these while, I never quarrel with any of his family members cos I am just waiting for next year when I can finally have my house back but I guess, his bro should know by now I dislike him cos I dun talk to him at all.
My pil will move to their daughter flat and sell their flat. My bil? Dunno and dun care, juz know that I will definitely not allow him to stay with us....
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porky_jean
Active Member
hi Fion40, how come ur hub's sister and baby also staying in ur hse ? they don't hv their own hse ?
staying w too many ppl in the house is v frustrating..esp if u got ur own kids, it is endless quarrel everyday...my mil always said all stay together is v good and harmony...I cant imagine if my bil & sil & their kids stay w us ! they are v lazy ppl don't bother to do housework or cook etc...and their kids are v noisy, also will anyhow throw my kids' toys on the floor...I don't mind they play together in my hse but don't throw toys mah...will break and make my kids cry...then aft play or eat, they just went home w/o helping us to clean up...as if they are guest ? not own family members ? then my mil will say "is ok nevermind I can keep for them"...wth...im not their maid ! so die die I wont agreed to stay together with them
fion40
Active Member
@porky_jean, my sil is waiting for her bto but she not staying with us juz her bb as my mil is helping to take are of her bb. My bil is the one without house so good luck to him next year. Luckily now me n hub still childless till date.
I agree staying together was not the best decision and I am really looking forward for next year cos they will all be out from my house by then!!!
I agree staying together was not the best decision and I am really looking forward for next year cos they will all be out from my house by then!!!
porky_jean
Active Member
oic...so when her bto is ready, will she bring her baby back to tk care ? or still ur mil tk care and stay in ur hse ?
last time my SIL also approached my mil to tk care her baby and put baby in my house if mil can tk care...but I rejected her straight away cos I know their patterns...once she put baby at my house then it will be taking forever..even if they got their own hse, they also don't bother to bring baby home on weekends..they will go shopping on their own and leave baby with us..congrats next yr u can hv ur own hse back
last time my SIL also approached my mil to tk care her baby and put baby in my house if mil can tk care...but I rejected her straight away cos I know their patterns...once she put baby at my house then it will be taking forever..even if they got their own hse, they also don't bother to bring baby home on weekends..they will go shopping on their own and leave baby with us..congrats next yr u can hv ur own hse back
i only see my in law once a week for few hours. they also can piss me off some times. Especially the unmarried sis...arrgghhh
Lucky my hubby is those very protective over my son....so when they offer him food or do something not right, he will nag at them.
Than i will 'pretend' to be the good person and try to smooth things out.
We been through huge quarrels from pak toh till marry. It's always his family his family and never about mine.
Now he improve alot, so i also respect his family more. Really need to see open lah. After all, got grandparents to dote on is not a bad thing.
They only see him for few hours once a week, so naturally they will just spoil him.
Cannot say for all but in some cases...i think if really no choice,some parents also won't want to stay with us.
Say if one of our parents pass away and than the other want to move in with u and your hubby reject, you also won't feel good right?
Lucky my hubby is those very protective over my son....so when they offer him food or do something not right, he will nag at them.
Than i will 'pretend' to be the good person and try to smooth things out.
We been through huge quarrels from pak toh till marry. It's always his family his family and never about mine.
Now he improve alot, so i also respect his family more. Really need to see open lah. After all, got grandparents to dote on is not a bad thing.
They only see him for few hours once a week, so naturally they will just spoil him.
Cannot say for all but in some cases...i think if really no choice,some parents also won't want to stay with us.
Say if one of our parents pass away and than the other want to move in with u and your hubby reject, you also won't feel good right?
fion40
Active Member
oic...so when her bto is ready, will she bring her baby back to tk care ? or still ur mil tk care and stay in ur hse ?
last time my SIL also approached my mil to tk care her baby and put baby in my house if mil can tk care...but I rejected her straight away cos I know their patterns...once she put baby at my house then it will be taking forever..even if they got their own hse, they also don't bother to bring baby home on weekends..they will go shopping on their own and leave baby with us..congrats next yr u can hv ur own hse back
Hi, yes pil will move to my sil hse. Thanks.oic...so when her bto is ready, will she bring her baby back to tk care ? or still ur mil tk care and stay in ur hse ?
last time my SIL also approached my mil to tk care her baby and put baby in my house if mil can tk care...but I rejected her straight away cos I know their patterns...once she put baby at my house then it will be taking forever..even if they got their own hse, they also don't bother to bring baby home on weekends..they will go shopping on their own and leave baby with us..congrats next yr u can hv ur own hse back
fion40
Active Member
Hi
Mine also problem with the unmarked eldest son. Very Sian...
iwontbite2
Member
Hi.. Is this chat still available? I have problem with my mil too n wanted to find someone to share... (
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