Support group - Miscarriages

I was even more frustrated when I see what she texts me... Anyone here will felt the same as us...
She also been bleeding during her pregnancy n successful born her bb boy.. So she claim she understand how I felt and try to give me a lot of advise... But her advise is not to me, she saying I didn't do enough. During confinement I still continue wash my hair but will blow them dry... She say bcos of that and my body is weak that why I keep lossing my pregnancy.. Keep asking me to drink red date water etc... I told her I couldn't drink any tonic bcos I will start bleeding again... That was what happen last few days ago... She again say that I dun care abt my own health... Shd listen to her...

What does they know abt miscarriage?! What make them think that doing all this will avoid miscarriage?!
If that is so... I sure will follow what she said... But it not lor! Even medical can't give us any answer when my tests didn't show bad... What make them thinks miscarriage is sure due to what they thinks..! Some ppl will keep thinking if we keep miscarriage, it sure have some prob with us. Haiz!
 


haze02 said:
I was even more frustrated when I see what she texts me... Anyone here will felt the same as us...
She also been bleeding during her pregnancy n successful born her bb boy.. So she claim she understand how I felt and try to give me a lot of advise... But her advise is not to me, she saying I didn't do enough. During confinement I still continue wash my hair but will blow them dry... She say bcos of that and my body is weak that why I keep lossing my pregnancy.. Keep asking me to drink red date water etc... I told her I couldn't drink any tonic bcos I will start bleeding again... That was what happen last few days ago... She again say that I dun care abt my own health... Shd listen to her...

What does they know abt miscarriage?! What make them think that doing all this will avoid miscarriage?!
If that is so... I sure will follow what she said... But it not lor! Even medical can't give us any answer when my tests didn't show bad... What make them thinks miscarriage is sure due to what they thinks..! Some ppl will keep thinking if we keep miscarriage, it sure have some prob with us. Haiz!
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Haiz. So irritating. Why they keep playing expert?
 
haze02 said:
Wa..!! U waited 3 weeks for the report wor.! Tat a long wait....
Agree... Pls ask a copy from them. Best is keep one copy for urself and print another copy for the TCM and Dr Sheila.
Whatever report I'm keeping a copy at home... Now a huge file with me... Haha!!

Today my mood very low.... A Fren tat knew abt my previous 2 MC, she show concern to me.. So I share my 3th MC with her too... She give me a lot of question and claim tat I didn't take good care of myself n lead to so many times of miscarriage... I was so angry and depress... During my pregnancy, I didn't even dare to put on makeup avoid eating liang food and drinks for years, even seen recurrent miscarriage dept n done all kind of blood tests, even had injection every morning.. What does she know abt me tat give such a unreasonable idea of me... A lot of ppl alway thinks that miscarriage was due to we didn't do this and that, or we done a lot of patang things... What make them think of it when they didn't went thru what we gone thru... :(
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Don talk about friend even my own sis also don understand and she says I got nth better to do spent so much on blood test...they won understand unless they went through what we went through...
 
Hi ladies!!

I just came back from 2 weeks holiday. Fully recharge, ready to 'fight' again!

How is everyone? Sorry I have no time to scroll up to read, will be busy these few days as I will be flying again on friday for business trip.
 
Give a hope said:
Don talk about friend even my own sis also don understand and she says I got nth better to do spent so much on blood test...they won understand unless they went through what we went through...
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Aiyo, tats vy hurtful from someone close to u. Who likes to do bt for such things...
 
Give a hope said:
Don talk about friend even my own sis also don understand and she says I got nth better to do spent so much on blood test...they won understand unless they went through what we went through...
Click to expand...

Those ppl doesn't know how to console ppl... They better shut up.
They nv been thru what we suffer and afraid abt... What make them have the right to judge us.
 
princessleopard said:
Hi ladies!!

I just came back from 2 weeks holiday. Fully recharge, ready to 'fight' again!

How is everyone? Sorry I have no time to scroll up to read, will be busy these few days as I will be flying again on friday for business trip.
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Hey princess!
Long time no see... U went back to work again?
Good to travel ard... At least recharge urself...
 
haze02 said:
Hey princess!
Long time no see... U went back to work again?
Good to travel ard... At least recharge urself...
Click to expand...

Hi dear! No, I haven't gone back to work. Still helping my hubby and my infant massage. I am waiting for a upgrading course to start soon. Perhaps will look for job after that.

How are you?
 
im okay, been spotting on off, on weekly jabs now to stabilise. having morning sickness. by wed I shd be about 9 weeks. hoping that things go smoothly this time round.
having another follow up with dr shelia and dr anita on 28th. looking forward to it, though everytime before I stepped in I will be freaking out and worried sick till wanna cry. lol cant help but worry. but erm kinda trying to enjoy this pregnancy at the same time :)

wow I also want to travel, but now I wont. will wait until I deliver. u still seeing dr su? oh and I stopped tcm meds including TSB. the thought of drinking it makes me nauseated already keke. but I left 3 packs. so see when I feel better will just cook and finish it. don't wanna waste money.
 
dolly_gal said:
Aiyo, tats vy hurtful from someone close to u. Who likes to do bt for such things...
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Ya lor...last sat she saw my arm there w plaster den asking me why I nvm just let her know is pre IVIG test den she says i too free just go for the blood test...she never know how painful it is and my arm is still blue black lor...3 big tubes leh...but consider less liao...sigh I never want to explain more cos the more I explained the more she feel waste time n money...den says my body not strong enough to support the pregnancy...is hurting you know?
 
haze02 said:
Those ppl doesn't know how to console ppl... They better shut up.
They nv been thru what we suffer and afraid abt... What make them have the right to judge us.
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Ya I totally agree...we don wan ppl to pity us but please don comments nonsense things when they never been thru...
That is also our hard earn money they really think we got nth better to do? Damn sian w my elder sis also
 
hopeful_mum said:
lol I don't know I hope beanie is doing good. as of last wed, beanie is fine. now waiting for 28th appointment. if all goes well. then I will wait for 12th May Oscar scan.
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Jiayou hopeful mum...anything can share n grumble here hehe :)
I just started my ttc journey :) hopefully everything will be fine and god bless us those who start ttc journey as well :)
1st time having intercourse w dh since last year oct even since we knew that I'm pregnant and afraid to try again aft D&C in dec really so much pain aft that for both of us...but after 1st urine slowly no pain liao...it should be normal right cos too long never have intercourse...
 
hopeful_mum said:
im okay, been spotting on off, on weekly jabs now to stabilise. having morning sickness. by wed I shd be about 9 weeks. hoping that things go smoothly this time round.
having another follow up with dr shelia and dr anita on 28th. looking forward to it, though everytime before I stepped in I will be freaking out and worried sick till wanna cry. lol cant help but worry. but erm kinda trying to enjoy this pregnancy at the same time :)

wow I also want to travel, but now I wont. will wait until I deliver. u still seeing dr su? oh and I stopped tcm meds including TSB. the thought of drinking it makes me nauseated already keke. but I left 3 packs. so see when I feel better will just cook and finish it. don't wanna waste money.
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I understand. Whilst others are looking forward to their checks, we will be freaking outside waiting till checks are fine with the baby.
I used to think travel is ok after 1st trimester, but now no more. We just got to be extra careful.
 
Give a hope said:
Jiayou hopeful mum...anything can share n grumble here hehe :)
I just started my ttc journey :) hopefully everything will be fine and god bless us those who start ttc journey as well :)
1st time having intercourse w dh since last year oct even since we knew that I'm pregnant and afraid to try again aft D&C in dec really so much pain aft that for both of us...but after 1st urine slowly no pain liao...it should be normal right cos too long never have intercourse...
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Thanks babe. I agree with u we don't need ppl to pity. But we don't need them to tell us what to do. So much trauma besides money. Every blood test they do we don't know what to expect. It's a lot what ifs etc and emotional torture.

Ya think too long nvr have intercourse already. U will be fine after awhile :). Jia you. Wishing I lotsa luck and spreading baby dust to u !
 
princessleopard said:
Hi dear! No, I haven't gone back to work. Still helping my hubby and my infant massage. I am waiting for a upgrading course to start soon. Perhaps will look for job after that.

How are you?
Click to expand...

Are u still TTC and visiting Dr Su?
I just had my 3th miscarriage.. Last 1 week plus ago I just done another D&C... Now on my way to visit my gynea for a checkup... Then same time waiting for the fetus chromosome report too... Seem a long wait lor... Anyway, this Friday my hubby and close Fren bringing me to batam for a short getaway... Couldn't afford ex trip, pocket need go thru confinement too. Hahaha!
 
haze02 said:
Are u still TTC and visiting Dr Su?
I just had my 3th miscarriage.. Last 1 week plus ago I just done another D&C... Now on my way to visit my gynea for a checkup... Then same time waiting for the fetus chromosome report too... Seem a long wait lor... Anyway, this Friday my hubby and close Fren bringing me to batam for a short getaway... Couldn't afford ex trip, pocket need go thru confinement too. Hahaha!
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So sweet of them. good to go for a getaway.
 
Give a hope said:
Ya lor...last sat she saw my arm there w plaster den asking me why I nvm just let her know is pre IVIG test den she says i too free just go for the blood test...she never know how painful it is and my arm is still blue black lor...3 big tubes leh...but consider less liao...sigh I never want to explain more cos the more I explained the more she feel waste time n money...den says my body not strong enough to support the pregnancy...is hurting you know?
Click to expand...

Ur sister really make me speechless.. Family member often say words without thinking of hurting each other bcos they used to each other company liao... Agree totally with u, we doesn't need them to pity us... Sometime all I need was a listening ears, hear my pain and sorrow.. But end up alway kena nasty words from them to hurt us even deeper... During my first MC, my SIL whom super fertile.. She tell my hubby that she willing to born a baby for us n praise her womb super fertile.. My tears nearly burst out, tat is my SIL n I couldn't shoot her back.... Only can endure..
 
haze02 said:
Are u still TTC and visiting Dr Su?
I just had my 3th miscarriage.. Last 1 week plus ago I just done another D&C... Now on my way to visit my gynea for a checkup... Then same time waiting for the fetus chromosome report too... Seem a long wait lor... Anyway, this Friday my hubby and close Fren bringing me to batam for a short getaway... Couldn't afford ex trip, pocket need go thru confinement too. Hahaha!
Click to expand...
Batam is a great place to relax! I went there after my 3rd mc also. Just relax and stop myself from thinking but still when hb is asleep I will start crying again.. think I have the habit of crying out alone.
 
haze02 said:
Ur sister really make me speechless.. Family member often say words without thinking of hurting each other bcos they used to each other company liao... Agree totally with u, we doesn't need them to pity us... Sometime all I need was a listening ears, hear my pain and sorrow.. But end up alway kena nasty words from them to hurt us even deeper... During my first MC, my SIL whom super fertile.. She tell my hubby that she willing to born a baby for us n praise her womb super fertile.. My tears nearly burst out, tat is my SIL n I couldn't shoot her back.... Only can endure..
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Like seriously. Wtf!! She very inconsiderate leh.

My mum tries to console me by telling me it's okay not to have a child whatever. She says enjoy urselves. Go tour spend money on what u like. She just worried I die someday over my stubborn nvr give up character. But every time she tells me that I will feel sad. Though she is thoughtful but I so wanted a child. She keep telling me don't want. Just rest. I know she loves me cox in her child but sometimes I hope she can encourage me.
 
I will always wonder why us and why there are such inconsiderate people around trying to comment about us without understanding how we felt. Lucky for me my closest cousin who just got married just very understanding and keep reassuring me my angels are at a better place now and I will have a healthy baby :)

But I too have those friends who keeps on saying I'm not pantang or doing wrong things. It's just heartbreaking to hear all this bs from them.
 
mangohope said:
I will always wonder why us and why there are such inconsiderate people around trying to comment about us without understanding how we felt. Lucky for me my closest cousin who just got married just very understanding and keep reassuring me my angels are at a better place now and I will have a healthy baby :)

But I too have those friends who keeps on saying I'm not pantang or doing wrong things. It's just heartbreaking to hear all this bs from them.
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Those friends might be trying to console us but in a very wrong way. I also believe all my angles are taking care of each other and playing together. Maybe all our angels are playing together somewhere. I'm sure they don't want us to be sad. So they will be living happily somewhere now :)
 
hopeful_mum said:
Those friends might be trying to console us but in a very wrong way. I also believe all my angles are taking care of each other and playing together. Maybe all our angels are playing together somewhere. I'm sure they don't want us to be sad. So they will be living happily somewhere now :)
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Yupp I somehow know they trying to show some concern but still don't like the way they are phrasing things :( I always ended up regret telling them after they ask me why I went missing for so long. My not so close friend is inviting me to her wedding and I really don't feel like going but don't have a reason to reject her hais.
 
mangohope said:
I will always wonder why us and why there are such inconsiderate people around trying to comment about us without understanding how we felt. Lucky for me my closest cousin who just got married just very understanding and keep reassuring me my angels are at a better place now and I will have a healthy baby :)

But I too have those friends who keeps on saying I'm not pantang or doing wrong things. It's just heartbreaking to hear all this bs from them.
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And yes mango. U will have a healthy baby. Maybe yes we are unlucky to have go thru losses. But that made us cherish life more. When we have kids we will love them and not spoil them. U are like a baby sister to me. I also hope to see u grad soon.

Move slowly for now. Let body heal and ur heart to heal also. Don't give urself too much stress. U going for counselling end of the mth right.

Just go and see see okay.
 
hopeful_mum said:
And yes mango. U will have a healthy baby. Maybe yes we are unlucky to have go thru losses. But that made us cherish life more. When we have kids we will love them and not spoil them. U are like a baby sister to me. I also hope to see u grad soon.

Move slowly for now. Let body heal and ur heart to heal also. Don't give urself too much stress. U going for counselling end of the mth right.

Just go and see see okay.
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Thanks babe! I'm going to see the psychiatrist on this coming Thurs I already like think of what to tell her already hahas I just hope I don't need any special medication cos I'm just stress only don't want to end up like my hb each visit they will add his medicine dosage! It's so scary! I didn't reply my friend yet just waiting for her to contact me again must be thinking why I'm so dao. Don't feel like facing those that know about my 1st pregnancy friends, last time too happy once ultrasound I already post on fb, I am afraid of them asking me what happened so avoided them for a while.
 
haze02 said:
Are u still TTC and visiting Dr Su?
I just had my 3th miscarriage.. Last 1 week plus ago I just done another D&C... Now on my way to visit my gynea for a checkup... Then same time waiting for the fetus chromosome report too... Seem a long wait lor... Anyway, this Friday my hubby and close Fren bringing me to batam for a short getaway... Couldn't afford ex trip, pocket need go thru confinement too. Hahaha!
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear that, dear. You doing confinement now?

Yes, I am still seeing Dr Su, not ttc now, probably will start in June.

Take care!
 
mangohope said:
Thanks babe! I'm going to see the psychiatrist on this coming Thurs I already like think of what to tell her already hahas I just hope I don't need any special medication cos I'm just stress only don't want to end up like my hb each visit they will add his medicine dosage! It's so scary! I didn't reply my friend yet just waiting for her to contact me again must be thinking why I'm so dao. Don't feel like facing those that know about my 1st pregnancy friends, last time too happy once ultrasound I already post on fb, I am afraid of them asking me what happened so avoided them for a while.
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Don't worry. Think u calm down already. It's good to see someone who can give an unbiased view.

Understand how u feel. All along we nvr say anything on fb. I told him this time I'm not even telling friends. Until say 2nd and 3rd trim when they see me with the bump. Only can tell family members. Close friends that meet often can say. But no announcement. Ya I super pantang now.

So sad I skipped my best friend rom and wedding. 4 of us. 3 of them took a lot of photos send to me. Only one knew. The bride doesn't know yet. Nscarwd she angry log.
 
hopeful_mum said:
Don't worry. Think u calm down already. It's good to see someone who can give an unbiased view.

Understand how u feel. All along we nvr say anything on fb. I told him this time I'm not even telling friends. Until say 2nd and 3rd trim when they see me with the bump. Only can tell family members. Close friends that meet often can say. But no announcement. Ya I super pantang now.

So sad I skipped my best friend rom and wedding. 4 of us. 3 of them took a lot of photos send to me. Only one knew. The bride doesn't know yet. Nscarwd she angry log.
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I missed my fav cousin wedding I mc just one week before her wedding :(
 
mangohope said:
I missed my fav cousin wedding I mc just one week before her wedding :(
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Lol imagine how not pantang I was. I mc and I still be my best friend jie Mei. I ask if she minds. She says no. So I have to go. Cox she wants me there. This time I am going to be a selfish person. Not going anywhere.
 
mangohope said:
Batam is a great place to relax! I went there after my 3rd mc also. Just relax and stop myself from thinking but still when hb is asleep I will start crying again.. think I have the habit of crying out alone.
Click to expand...

Crying is a part of recover stage.. I also will cry madly when I'm alone, after that I do feel better.
So cry and do whatever u feel good... I told my hubby, allow me to cry as much possible, it my way of relieve my sorrow. Mens sometime didn't know how react n panic when we cry... So need ensure him, I'm on the way of recover stage. Haha!
 
Sigh got another lady may be facing a mc. I read her post and I'm tearing. Feeling her pain. But I'm praying for a miracle for her. Hope she doesn't has to join this thread.

Why so difficult :(

I am so glad to have the support of u ladies here. If not don't know how to survive.
 
hopeful_mum said:
Like seriously. Wtf!! She very inconsiderate leh.

My mum tries to console me by telling me it's okay not to have a child whatever. She says enjoy urselves. Go tour spend money on what u like. She just worried I die someday over my stubborn nvr give up character. But every time she tells me that I will feel sad. Though she is thoughtful but I so wanted a child. She keep telling me don't want. Just rest. I know she loves me cox in her child but sometimes I hope she can encourage me.
Click to expand...

Ur mother said the same as mine.. Haha! Fren also told me that without kid is great too.. We enjoy freedom and do whatever we want... Have a child is like a huge burden... Somehow I'm a stubborn girl too... No matter what, I will strive til I meet my goal... Having a baby is a dream to me since I'm young... I couldn't imaging myself without a child lor...
 
haze02 said:
Ur mother said the same as mine.. Haha! Fren also told me that without kid is great too.. We enjoy freedom and do whatever we want... Have a child is like a huge burden... Somehow I'm a stubborn girl too... No matter what, I will strive til I meet my goal... Having a baby is a dream to me since I'm young... I couldn't imaging myself without a child lor...
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Lol u know when young I nvr wanted kids. Lol. Who knows this big change in me. Maybe cox hubby love kids and I slowly began to like them. That's why I say maybe mc is to teach me to love kids unconditionally and not take them for granted.

Jia you haze. After u recover u will be very fertile one. Once ur heart is ready start engine again :)
 
hopeful_mum said:
Sigh got another lady may be facing a mc. I read her post and I'm tearing. Feeling her pain. But I'm praying for a miracle for her. Hope she doesn't has to join this thread.

Why so difficult :(

I am so glad to have the support of u ladies here. If not don't know how to survive.
Click to expand...

Sad.... Hope I wouldn't see another sister too.
But if she needed console etc... She can come here lor... We really recieve a lot of comfort from each other here. As what u said, I duno how to survive without u girl too...
 
hopeful_mum said:
Sigh got another lady may be facing a mc. I read her post and I'm tearing. Feeling her pain. But I'm praying for a miracle for her. Hope she doesn't has to join this thread.

Why so difficult :(

I am so glad to have the support of u ladies here. If not don't know how to survive.
Click to expand...
Hope her beanny can pull thru!
 
haze02 said:
Ur mother said the same as mine.. Haha! Fren also told me that without kid is great too.. We enjoy freedom and do whatever we want... Have a child is like a huge burden... Somehow I'm a stubborn girl too... No matter what, I will strive til I meet my goal... Having a baby is a dream to me since I'm young... I couldn't imaging myself without a child lor...
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Me too I wanted to be a young mum at first that's why straight away after marriage we tried and straight away jackpot! If only the beanny made it! He or she will be almost 2 yo already :(
 
Mangohope,
As long we doesn't give up. I'm sure we will carry our precious.. Jiayou!

Jus now I took my weight in the clinic.. My weight is 59.2kg now! Omg..!! Need a lot of exercise liao...
 
haze02 said:
Mangohope,
As long we doesn't give up. I'm sure we will carry our precious.. Jiayou!

Jus now I took my weight in the clinic.. My weight is 59.2kg now! Omg..!! Need a lot of exercise liao...
Click to expand...
Lol yeah go work out. It makes one healthier and happier!
 

Seems like TCM medication for "An Tai" making me fat wor..!!
Within 2 week I gain 3 kg! My Fren recommend me for hot yoga... Wanted to try leh, but if pregnant how. Now we can't do running or any lower body exercise.. Only can brisk walk, I dun see at effect at all.... Stupid me! Duno how to swim and cycle, or I sure go for it..
 
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