Recent content by Heavy Heart

I'm already getting help from a part timer. Thing is, my part timer comes in alternate weeks for 3-4 hours. It doesn't relief him on the daily chores still. Yes, we calculated the overheads as well as the salary. I think.... if he will step out, he can easily cover all these overheads and have...

Thanx Daman, yup, I'm trying not to be over the top too much. I don't feel as gloomy but I don't want to bang all my 100% hope on it. But as I said, it's a good start! I shortlisted 3 jobs already. Wish me luck!!

Surprise!!! He mentioned about getting back to work!!! I'm not sure if this will lead to anywhere, but at least it's a start. I'm gonna plough through the job sites to help him. I sensed that if we really get a helper to help with the chores, and if money is too tight, he knows he needs to step...

That's cos they know he's not working? In my case, nobody knows except me that he is not contributing a single cent. So he doesn't get that kind of treatment.

OK, this sounds scary. I'll enlighten him to this possibility. Thanks for sharing. He doesn't want the kids to turn up the way he is now, so that's a good start. But if he doesn't want it but doesn't do anything to stop it, that's as good as doing nothing and hoping that something drops from the...

Didn't want to admit but I did think of this. Sigh! If I get a helper, I can really survive on my own, except that the helper cannot substitute what a father means to the kids and some comfort (whatever he can afford to) to me as a husband.

Yes, I think you catch some good points. He doesn't have colleagues, so he is probably trapped in a mind of his own, frustrations and confusion included. And it's not working well with him cos he will tend to find an outlet with the family. I tried to ask him to connect with other online...

In the day, when I'm not home, he'll need to take care of the baby. What he does other than that, I do not know. He mentioned taking care of the baby took up most of his time. Maybe cover some chores. But if I'm home (which is most of the time), I'm the main care giver to the baby unless I have...

Wow! Hmmm.... that's an alternative. Let him read instead of talking to him. It may give him time to think through while reading instead of defending himself and get aggressive when talking face to face. Thanks, I'll keep this trick in my pocket.

I agree. I thought it shouldn't be impossible although it may be difficult. We are in the 30s and 40s with 2 kids.

Maybe it's me, I get too soft-hearted. He is contributing by covering some household chores, although he complains about it. But when he gets agitated or depressed and say negative comments, I get annoyed that he is not contributing where it needs the most, ie. $$$. $$$ can find us someone to...

Yup, I've been contemplating counseling as well. But I need him to go with me to counseling. Me going alone won't help. I thinking of an angle to nudge him to go with me and hear it from a different person what he needs to do to get out of the current situation that he himself doesn't like as...

Thanx a lot for caring, I appreciate it! A few have asked me how he is doing, I lack courage to tell them that he is not doing well at all. Guys have big ego, or most of them do, and this will probably not go down well with him if I tell someone about it, especially his close ones. Yes, soft...

I'll give it a try. I had done a couple of years back, but he didn't think that he is employable, thus he didn't action on it. Years on, I think he thinks that he is even more not employable. Diff is, your hubby wants to get a job, mine thinks that he would not get a job and so shouldn't try...

He decided to be self employed 10 years ago. Oooh... nagging... hehe, I think he'll flip if I nag. In this house, he does the nagging, I'm not the nagging type. But maybe I shall subtly try. Thanks for the tip.